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No Day Goes By

She thinks of him every day of her life
pierces her soul like a sharp knife
the baby she had to abandon
her first born, her precious son

To young to handle responsibility
told this by peers repeatedly
gave in to pressure
heartbroken beyond measure

no day goes by
she doesn't cry
you'll often hear her sigh
memories drift by

She's afraid to look for him
in case only fulfilling her whim
he may not want to know
her forgotten long ago

Then the phonecall
she, held up by the wall
he wanted to find his birth mother
a space unfilled by another

She took three days to respond
scared of her he wouldn't be fond
without him she's had to live
would he be able to forgive

Today's the day
he's on his way
can bridges be built?
can the gaps be filled?

They scour each others face
for any sign of resemblance
then lock in a tight embrace

Takes time
I hope their futures sublime

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage: 

Comments

Lovely poem of a child finding its mother, you had me with the couplets right up to the last stanza it really needs some work but this ones worth working on, it really needs to fall in line with the rest of the poem and spliting the couplets up lost all the rhythm

I cant imagine giving up my child I have children and I couldnt begin to think what its like for a mother having to loose a child like that

I lost a son at 3 days old so I know the pain of loss

regards JC xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

thanks Jc the first few verses kinda flowed and I really didn't know how to finish lol glad you enjoyed this one cheers Sue x

author comment

If i have something I have worked on and I cant find an ending I usually leave it alone till the 'right' ending presents itself ..

still work on that end stanza and you have a good poem there :))

JC x

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

JC I apologise I meant to say extremely sorry for your loss x

author comment

I feel it all when I read it. Poignant THank you

thanks glad you enjoyed this one cheers sueb x

author comment
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