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NO brothers R Coming?

When we are gone

There is no one there to welcome
no garland
no red carpet treatment
no special coffee
no juices for me
no milk no sugar is needed

but by then we are all just a memory
hanging about a tall Eucalyptus tree
far in the distant ocean
or simmering horizon
they all ask fast
has the sun set at last?
I hear someone say in my ear
though deaf be I may
sweet guy don't cry be happy
no cancer injections now for thee

and there will be no regrets
as you leave your mind
the earlier you go
all memories will be left behind

they’ll all be finally happy
do you know why?
b'coz of you now
they’re all in fathomless debt
for your death have no regret

pass away as quickly as you may
what's the point now to stay?
just like me fade away
come be my immortal friend everyday

come straightaway
I can't wait any longer
than sun set today...

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 


I think you need to break sunset into two parts sun set

don't take me seriously because I have no poetic fervor but in my opinion the following lines spoil the rhythm

I bet
do you know why?
coz of you now they’re all in heavy fathomless debt
for your death have no regret

I liked your poem


raj (sublime_ocean)

I was having gripes
when i posted it
Now with your excellent pointers
I have modified quite a bit
hope its better

author comment

A good piece about the nothing that we face, just see if you can listen to a little of Sadie it is a little way into the recording where Sadie starts singing you believe in love.
Just an insight to the nothingness you say is there I wonder where this is:-
It's a recording of the children I talk of,
Yours Ian

Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

you hear
send me the words
as I can't hear you know
age catches young and old
me too

author comment

It is a thing you must be able to hear to know the depth of eternity and its little helpers.
So sorry you cannot hear it but this one hasn't been written up as yet.
I wasn't going to bother with writing them up once I knew I could put them as they were on the net.
If I give you my site addy you will see there Sadie's Diaries, these are my writings of the tapes I have done so far, maybe you will be able to sense the energy there.
Take care young Bard,
Yours as always Ian and Children

Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

very few such directions dictate
and many read my works
but a bit too late
to remain up to date

author comment

poignant and real for many of us who read this piece. Well written.


thank you Sir Joe

author comment

Piece of writing. When I had my NDE I wasn't met by anyone - but I knew I wasn't alone, the Place where I went was a Place built on Love.

"Death" is nonsense: what is there to die?
"Life"? How could " life" "die"? That is a contradiction
in terms. Can "light" become "darkness"?
"Light" can only cease to be apparent

Wei Wu Wei

my actual death experience
as you say..''' NDE...'''..

I went there---- nowhere
for say, 5 to 7 minutes
when i was fished back
heaven knows why and how.....
but I was there abs

author comment
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