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ninety parts to God

the soul wakes........... forced devalue
festival minds preventing them derivation
this was some inundate carnage
squeal and sobriety pertinent
immobilized foraging of those partook

surrender into invisibility
for on earth if recall be
after the penance of fate adjourn them
from much needed time to grow old
deficit kids- were exclusive saints
for this cause. About faith,
what is this whiplash whirlpool
dragging much more participants than enrolled
discipleship of fireball, inhuman inferno

they become the divine accomplice
in pieces nether, a rake to gather
much more fragments, lying in state exhortation
for terrorism, macabre immutable
should they seek the purpose of lower breeds
like worms who have no scientific guru
of human to human predators

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
this poem is about an explosion of bomb by terrorists, and the victimized humans shatter well even beyond fragments to gather their wasted being for funeral, this is really a sagging scenario of mans inhumanity to his fellow man, regardless of the fact that on earth man is the highest breed both mentally , and otherwise but here their wisdom is still lacking.they go to their maker in millions of tiny pieces unthinkable . the culprits of the crime were also brain washed by religion
Editing stage: 

Comments

The internal logic is consistent. The title is all the more powerful after having read the poem. There is much to think about after reading it.

Once again, thank you for the write.

BF

Belief in God causes the most inhumanity.

The poem lacks poetic quality. Is a rant. Use your words carefully to create a sound, a voice. It will be far more effective.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

say hark and listen
you may gloss over if you feel
read and comment on others
then see how many support thee

I will always
alongside be

loved

sublime from a seamstress of poesy

author comment

is called "Sublime and Ridiculous Productions". Does that enlighten?

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

only proactive deluge i guess

author comment
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