Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Niagara Falls

You all are most welcome
to sing
we both can to Niagara
happiness bring,
as we along the walk
laugh - talk and sing
more folks will join in

like the Pied piper of Hamlin
we will take all
up to the fall
then they themselves will decide
what to do
it's their life after all

sing or cut off our wings
virus no one can touch
as such...
yet there is no vaccine
oh in life
what a blasphemy scene

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I love the theme of your poem, but I find it too wordy for my liking. S1 is kind of disordered, seems to me would be better this way:

You are most welcome
to sing
we both to Niagara
happiness bring.

The forced rhyme sounds a bit off, tho' I think you want it that way. Further down, I see no need for the Caps of Pied Piper of Hamlin.

You all are most welcome
to sing
we both can to Niagara
Happiness bring,

I'll return for another read. xxx

*
*
*
The Poetry of the Earth is never Dead. John Keats.

I appreciate your comment
INCORPORATED also
thanks again

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.