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Neopoet Random Challenge #17 (Happy Birthday America)

Submitted by Rosewood Apothecary on Mon, 2022-07-04 09:10

Yes I love this country
To me it’s not a flag
I stand with hand held over heart
But I’m not really one to brag

I wont say mediocre
I don’t think that’s the truth
Believing we’re the best of all
Is something I lost with my youth

Things always need improvements
And everything decays
We need progressive movements
To keep us current with the days

So let’s stop moving backwards
At best we’re standing still
I’ve got a feeling in my gut
It can get better and it will

I really love this country
Not the symbol, but the land
The purple mountain’s majesty
From sea to sea where wave meets sand

I’m sure we’ll get it sorted
Perhaps not in my time
I teach my children right from wrong
And in this way I’ll change some minds

I’ll say this on your birthday
You’re not beyond repair
We’ll need to open many hearts
And give them time to clear the air

Until then know I love you
Despite apparent flaws
Like points of ones morality
Shouldn’t make another’s laws

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
I’m a fixer. We can fix things. It takes teamwork, compassion, empathy, and patience. All are in high demand and short supply it seems.
Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Candlewitch

Mon, 2022-07-04 10:59

Candlewitch's picture
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( in answer to your last few words: those of us who have "it" aren't in power to use it)
a terrific poem to celebrate our country's day of independence. my favorite lines are:

I’ll say this on your birthday
You’re not beyond repair
We’ll need to open many hearts
And give them time to clear the air

respect, Cat

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Geezer

Mon, 2022-07-04 12:21

Geezer's picture
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Truer words were never spoken! We can always use improvement. Your rhyme and pattern was pretty tight and the language is great. A fitting piece for our birthday! Good job~ ~Geez.
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