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Neither Pessimistic nor Optimistic

May the Gods keep me.

For if the heart is destroyed

There will be no mercy.

Heathen and Earth will weep.

And all this will become nothing.

Scraps of dust blowing in the winds of time.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words: 
Seriously just venting right now, will get over it in the morning. Maybe
Editing stage: 

Comments

I love short poetry. Even if this one is a vent, I'd say you're capturing an important feeling.

I will ask, is "Heathen" a typo or play on words?

Your last two lines are very powerful, and the last line has it's own sort of dystopian beauty to it. However, it seems to conflict with the poignancy of "nothing" in the previous line. Even a single speck of dust is still something. Maybe instead of "become nothing" it could be "worth nothing" or "reduced to nothing" or something else that gives the reader a sense of worthlessness and not literal size/literal nothingness. What do you think?

I hope to read more from you!
Kelsey

Critique, don't comment.
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www.lettereddandy.xyz

the cheese of the earth

not hard to look at the state of
things..a world torn asunder
for the sate of fast made wealth
fracking the land...strip mining
out west....
killing in the name of honor and
religion....wars for profit

there really will be nothing much
left over...
when we push it over the edge

your poem just says
I dont like it
and U dont
many dont

thank U for your poem

Mr W

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