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The Negro Speaks Of Rivers by Langston Hughes(Stan's Imagery WS)

I've known rivers
I've known rivers ancient path,.wilder and longer than the
flow of the blood in my veins.
My soul has grown strong like the rivers.

I used to swim in the Euphrates when the days were young.
I built my house near the Congo and it took me awhile to find sleep
I looked upon the west and raised the pyramids of hope
I heard the song of the Mississippi when Abraham Lincoln
went sailing to New Orleans, and I've seen its clear
bosum turn to gold in the sunset.

I've known rivers
Ancient., dusky rivers

My soul has grown strong like the rivers

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
the original assignment from Stan

I've known rivers ancient ..... ..... ........... and......... than the
flow of ........ blood in ........... veins.
My soul has ..... ..... like the rivers.

I.... in the Euphrates when .......... were young.
I built my ..... near the Congo and it ..... me.... to... sleep
I looked upon the ........ and raised the pyramids .... ..
I heard the .... of the Mississippi when ........ Lincoln
went.......... to New Orleans, and I've seen its.............
bosum turn .... ..... in the sunset.

I've known rivers
............, dusky rivers

My .......... has grown ..... like the rivers

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

I am not sure of the problem your having on a quick look it seems you have done a splendid job, its 5am here I have to sleep but I'll be back later today with a full critique, well done on a difficult assignment.

Love Jayne x

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

nighty-nite, don't let the bedbugs bite

Alid

author comment

I too feel that you have done a great job in double quick time given the degree of difficulty of the assignment...let's see how the original poem unfolds in due course of time...cheers!

raj (sublime_ocean)

for the visit and kind comment.

Alid

author comment

Seems to look just fine to me. It reads very smoothly nice job

Chrys
Let your mercy spill on all these burning hearts in hell(Leonard Cohen)

To be honest, I'm actually worried when I get this assignment.

Alid

author comment

Yes we take our writing seriously but on the other hand a workshop is there not to tell who is right or wrong but to learn from each other so please do not feel worried about anything that is done here we are here to help each other out not to point fingers so to speak. I had been away for quite some time but coming back I was greeted by this workshop and am enjoying every minute of it. As I said before it looks like you did a fine job
I wouldn't think of it as an "assignment" it is not a class room ,no one is going to grade you. it is more of an exerise in writing so relax and enjoy the ride.

Chrys
Let your mercy spill on all these burning hearts in hell(Leonard Cohen)

I wish to clarify that in my comments in the workshop threads I referred to this workshop and exercises as Class room and assignments just to give it a tinge of humor. I entirely agree with your comment above that we are here to help each other for value addition and enjoyment. So, if my comments have in any way been perceived as otherwise, I stand corrected.

raj (sublime_ocean)

for the comment.

Alid

author comment

letting you know I've dropped by. I'll await afew more comments before displaying the original

I only found problem in using the adjective "strong" to describe the rivers in such a tender poem. I think we need to see the original though.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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you have a point. Let's wait for the original.

Alid

author comment
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