Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Natural Mechanics

Most gentle of push pull me ‘way,
yet the fences are all barbed with wire,
I have no reason for to stay,
my heart’s begun to tire.

Metal thorns may be sharp and still,
I put forth my flesh against the jagged rust,
cuts will mend but the lack of never will,
and so I must.

‘Round rotting posts the meadows stretch,
crawl across the dirt and darken at the valley’s end,
reeds leap near to skies the hills have met,
or at least I will imagine.

- Lane

Editing stage: 


Firstly welcome to Neopoet site, we are here to learn in a quiet way, there are many here to help if need be.. This as your first piece, there seems to be a few words missing, if you imagine, . then let your imagination give a reason for your journey , or at least which medium you are in, there seems to be something needed, otherwise the bones of the piece is very good
Yours Ian.T

There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

powerful, evocative and economical. Beats the shit out of most love poems (they conveniently forget the barbed wire).

Sorry I can offer no constructive criticism on this. Perhaps I can help with your next one.

A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'

(c) No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.