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Natalie, and me
When I think of love
She comes to mind, blonde and blue
Sweetest, softest soul
Under fuchsia leaves
Conversation is quiet
People pass us by
Much to remember
Winter, summer, back again…
All of it is grand
Style / type:
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
this is my first time posting any poetry i've ever written.. don't exactly consider myself a poet but i do enjoy writing poetry nonetheless.
Editing stage:
Contest:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Candlewitch
Sat, 2022-03-26 10:03
hello,
this is sweet. it hints at an under current of slow and gentle passion. one that lasts forever.
*hugs, Cat
p.s.
it is ice to meet you!
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
j.g.k.
Sat, 2022-03-26 11:41
thx love :)
thx love :)
author commentGeezer
Sat, 2022-03-26 16:42
This is...
a reminder of Haiku, although it is not in strict keeping with Haiku. I like the visions I get of sitting on a bench under the Fushia
leaves with a quiet conversation going on and people walking past in the background. I can picture it through the seasons, and the people walking by with appropriate clothing on for the weather. I see that this is your first post on any site.
This is well done, and we hope that it is not the last. I hope that you will enjoy yourself here and this is not the last of your work we see. ~ Geezer.
.
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