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NAKED TREES (November Contest)

Here is the mountain's vale once clothed in furs
Like a bear in the snow separated only by green
Standing like King Kong gigantic on all fours
Should it turn its face, terror would stroke its grin.

As a boy I wondered what dwelt in such darkness
As the trees bent and creaked in the wind
With the caws of ravens and owls the wood buzz restless
And terror never seemed to free my mind.

Then sometimes summer simmer It's smouldering ray
Into the thickest furs of the green
Exposing the nakedness of the proud woods to the day
Wilting every leaf and every terror my fearful mind had seen.

Sometimes we would run into the yellow of dead leaves
Where you will find them naked trees
Humming the chirping of the birds 'n' casting down their griefs
As we dance in the vale like bees naked with the trees.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

Please be so kind as to put (November contest) next to the title. This makes it easier for this month's judge to spot this poem. It would be a shame if it were overlooked........stan

Thanks for helping, what do you think of it?

Hommies

author comment

A very good poem with plenty of imagery. Liked the way you see fall as a time to reveal the monsters of summer were never really there. Good luck in contest......stan

all have seen your Real nudity
now you may weAr borRoWed clothes if any
Neopoets can send some
ask scRibbler for compensation
you showed uRself in the nakedness of trees
I felt WOWEFULLY chilly
LOVELY POETRY
TO-A-TAL nud- ditty

Lol! Thanks!

Hommies

author comment

U clothed
but I see u too love the nakedness
of not only trees but humanity
all's up to you
bear leaves
or
remain barren

clothes are just a veil only
between voyeurs and you really

are you a woman may be..
excuse me
my eyes R half blind

I am a man at his prime if 23 is prime...

Hommies

author comment

You must sure be hot
in the gals market

well done
have fun

will ye
in life @23

@21 was bliss
for me

connecting youth, freedom nudity of body and nature. The last stanza is very strong. Vale is an old word but you use it well.

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

Thanks a lot for your review. I'm grateful!

Hommies

author comment
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