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Nahuel

The wind is a howling puma.
I hear him breathe in raining darkness.
He battles shores of the South Atlantic
until armlets belch black liquid,
furious sea-serpents
surrendering to a wild force.
The nahuel’s loping form,
crouching over scarred beaches,
takes on thundering waves,
slashes lowering skies
with fiery streaks.

I listen to Nahuel call me,
harken to alluring pauses in the wind,
occasional mellow tones.
I shall ride Nahuel
far from meaningless traffic of this world.
Yellow as spume on Austral swells,
eyes glowing in phosphorescent waters,
this mythical creature
mounts the spine of waves
when seas bellow in from the blackness.

After this last night with you,
pressed close to your naked skin,
Nahuel's claws shall carry me away,
sharp and cold as icicles.
Tomorrow, you’ll still savour salt
on our hungry bodies,
as we made love by the fireside,
sheltered from errant winds
combing the distant Atlantic.

Note: Nahuel is puma in the local indigenous language.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Pumas were plentifull in Argentine Patagonia. There are still quite a few left, I hope they are multiplying with the lockdown. The lake near which I live is called "Nahuel Huapi", which means Puma Lake. I think Huapi is lake, but I'll look it up. Once a stupid governor offered 3000 pesos to anybody who would bring him a dead puma! There were so many protests, that he had to retract. I've changed the title to "Nahuel", which means "puma" in the local indigenous language.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

wow...your wonderful words had my heart pumping and my pulse racing with the flow of its development! the imagery that marks this poem is absolutely delicious! there is nothing like wind and sea to stir the blood! I loved this so much, that I nominated it! I cannot choose favorite lines because they are all spectacular!

*hugs, Cat
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When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

Hello Cat, thanks for visiting and for your lovely words. I'm wondering about the title, I'm not so happy with it. Wind can mean something else...goes with the poo in your signature...lol.
Yes, the sea brings out one's imagination. This is based on myth, but I added some personal stuff to make it mine.
All the best, Gracy

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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

author comment

the choice of words do indeed make this poem come alive...i marvel at your vocabulary and using it so effectively...

hope you didn't have any problem posting this one...

be well..

raj (sublime_ocean)

Hi raj, thanks for visiting and commenting. No, this time all worked well, it's so kind of you to help out. I'll try to repost the other poem so that people are not confused.
Your comments are lovely, but, as I said above, I'm not happy with the title.
Keep safe, Gracy

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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

author comment

Reminds me of my own youth, and a certain storm. My first wife and I... Never mind, this is great stuff! Puma Wind...it is. You have a great talent for taking the wild and the animals to use in your personal experiences. I betcha you could wite a book. ~ Geez.
.

Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
keeping in touch We have poets around the world and it is fun
to have real-time conversations with those that are up
all night or on the other side of the world.
.

Good morning, Geez, if you won't tell us about the storm, then perhaps you can write your own poem about it...without the dirty secrets, lol.
I grew up in a place where myths and legends abound. They were oral tales, brought down thru' the generations of tribal women, mostly. Same as Greek, Arabic and all myths. We tend to think we have the best, but that's not so. Anyway, thank you for the encouragement, I do hope to get all my poems together in a book, one day. They have been published, but when reading them again, I had to make many changes. Not happy with the originals.
Thanks again. I had no trouble posting this one. Best, Gracy

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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

author comment

Dear Gracy, when i come to your page i have nothing but admiration for your writing, theres never anything more to say because you really write with the most magnificent pen, your stories are always imaginable and beautiful to see.

Thank you...Teddy

Dear Teddy, you're too kind. As I've said above, I'm not so happy with the title, it can be read as funny...you know, wind has more than one meaning! If you have any ideas, please tell me. Thanks once again for your comments, I'm relieved that you like what I write. All the best, Gracy

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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

author comment

I see for a title

Winds that howl
Or

Winds do howl

Your poem being dramatic so it's where I took the noise I can hear the wind.

Thank you...Teddy

Thank you, Teddy, for your suggestions. I like the word "howl", but not fond of putting "that" in a title. I'll mull over it. Gracy

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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

author comment

Howling winds
Musical gale

It's your poem im just trying to inspire

Dramatic imagery

Could also work as a title, also cat has left a good suggestion.

Thank you...Teddy

Thank you so much, dear Teddy. Good suggestions. I'll sleep on them, feeling tired now. Glad you find the imagery dramatic, I was aiming for that.
Best, Gracy

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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

author comment

how about substituting "gale" or "squall" for the word wind?

*hugs, Cat
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When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

Great ideas, Cat. I like "gale" more. Not sure that it goes well, like "Puma Gale". I'll have to think on it, along with Teddy's ideas.
Put my thinking cap on, as Mom used to say, all the best, Gracy

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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

author comment

Yes, I like gale, Cat. As I said to Teddy, I have to mull over the title. Thanks so much, keep safe and well, Gracy

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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

author comment

You have such a wonderful way with words I always enjoy reading your poetry

Our chat room is not only there for Thursday afternoon chat 3:30-4:30
but it is there and ready for all to use at anytime of day come often and hook up in conversation to those across the globe

Hi Gracy
You commented on my poem so I decided to pay back your favor,.
My first response is wow. Your poem is written like you are the puma wind. (Are you secretly) Anyway your poem gave me a rush of adrenaline(not needed because it’s close to night) I wish there was a picture. I feel as if I can reach out and stroke the puma wind. Actually I want to run away from it. Sounds lethal and dangerous.
Your poetic talent is raw. It’s like a steak dripping with blood. The flavor is overpowering. Sorry that’s a bit overdramic. Anyway great job.
Vivi

Vivi
(Love hanging with my family of poets)

Hi Vivi, thanks for comming over to comment. Sorry about the rush of adrenaline near your bedtime, I bet you slept well all the same.
No, I'm not a puma wind. I've finally decided on the title, just plain "Nahuel", which is puma in the indigenous language.
Oh dear, I'm sorry it's like a steak streaming with blood. I'm vegetarian! Maybe my poetry is raw, but I like to think it's raw in a metaphorical sense.
So glad you came over, all comments are appreciated and if you want to crit, go ahead, best, Gracy

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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

author comment

My last thought on this poem is that the title does work it is powerful as is, it is dramatic. X

Thank you...Teddy

I agree with Teddy. I love this piece just as it is!
ever, eddy
*always, Cat
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When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

Teddy, I've changed it to plain "Nahuel", which means puma in the local indigenous language. Maybe I'll now include Nahuel in parts of the poem, for more clarity.
Thanks for all your suggestions, keep safe, Gracy
PS: My carpenter, the one who is making my cottage look better, was in a house with a Covid patient over the weekend. He was not in close contact and it was well after his work for me, but he'll be in quarantine for two weeks, as a precaution.

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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

author comment

Thank you, Cat. I decided to call it simply "Nahuel", which means puma in the local indigenous language. I'll now try to include Nahuel in some parts of the poem, for clarity's sake.
All the best, Gracy

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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

author comment
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