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My Walk In The Woods

Submitted by brittle light on Sat, 2017-07-22 09:57

I took, what I thought would be,
a pleasant and leisurely walk with the trees.

As it turned out:

the air was thick and sticky.
There were, everywhere,
enormous dive bombing bugs,
feasting
with exuberance and voracity.

Some mysterious scurrying
was unsettling my soul,
and those vicious
ubiquitous vines;
clingy as a velcro 2.0

All this induced a bit of claustrophobia.
It smelled good though;
kind of musty
like an old root cellar.

Alas,
five strides in
and I was lost.
Not panicky lost
but lost just the same,
so I looked for mossy trees.
(Apparently, they know direction)
but the more I looked
the loster I seemed

as the light began its creep
into boogy-man night,
(bolstered by screeches
from un-godly creatures)
I needed a plan
when I heard a hoot; then
in a flash of brilliance
I knew what to do.

I began to howl
louder and prouder,
"if you try scaring me
I'll scare you even harder"

so, for hours I wailed
devil-lent sermons,
and belted out tunes
like Satchmo and Merman.

the woods were disturbed;
the neighborhood as well.
I was after all, just
...five strides into hell.

the wardens arrived,
and thinking I was drunk
they threw me in the tank

....Thanks....

rustic life,
so debunked.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft

Comments

Scatterhatter

Sat, 2017-07-22 10:14

This is a great poem!
5 strides in can leave you in no man's land!
Bugger that the authorities didn't understand hey!

brittle light

Sun, 2017-07-23 06:48

brittle light's picture

thanks Scatter, very much appreciated

Al

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scribbler

Sat, 2017-07-22 12:45

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Sounds like you dared to enter a South Carolina thicket in the middle of summer. Residents here know better than dare the tics, chiggers, mosquitos, gnats, no seeums, snakes and even the lizard man lol.......stan

brittle light

Sun, 2017-07-23 07:02

brittle light's picture

I ain't a'scared a no lizard man!
My Ethel Merman impression will scare the hell out of anything.

thanks,

Al

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Geezer

Sat, 2017-07-22 13:02

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It makes a country-at-heart boy chuckle and puts me in mind of me in a big building. I can always find my way when I am outside, but I get lost in a building! I only go to the health-clinic or my pulmonologist every 6 mos. so the directions to their offices has a chance to leak out of my brain before the next appointment. I hear the receptionists and/or nurses laughing and sometimes they just point and say that way Guy. Lol. Great story and poem. I particularly liked the little asides, they really made the whole thing that much funnier. ~ Gee.
.

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brittle light

Sun, 2017-07-23 07:07

brittle light's picture

you're a better man than me then
I get lost in buildings and the outdoors
a sense of direction seems to be totally absent
I can get disoriented lying in bed.

thank you for your supportive comments

later G,

Al

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Geezer

Sun, 2017-07-23 14:05

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I could do that if I woke up in a strange bed, but that's not going to happen these days, since I sleep in a recliner now. ~ Gee.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

mand

Tue, 2017-07-25 04:51

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Brilliant! :) ".. the light began its creep into boogy-man night.." I definitely would have been panicky lost and I really like the word "loster" I would soo loved to have been a fly on the wall "tree" in this case - the vision of you howling for hours on end..and the finally of you being thrown in the tank... was an insult to injury that was cruelly funny. :) Ahh those cherished memories!

I really enjoyed reading this - thank you for sharing! :)

Love Mand xxxx

brittle light

Wed, 2017-07-26 14:22

brittle light's picture

I'm glad you enjoyed this wacky misadventure.
it's of course, not entirely true, but is the paranoid imaginings, (while on a less terrible trek) of the potential for this scenario to actually happen.( even that explanation is not entirely true!)

I say, "never believe what writers say...especially poets" They are always prone to hyperbole!
'tis better to err on the side of skepticism.(but enjoy reading anyway)

thanks again,

Al

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mand

Sat, 2017-07-29 03:04

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I did wonder - but will take your advice and assume poetic license in future. Still brilliant story / half truth, made me smile! Thanks for sharing. :)

Love Mand xx

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