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My Reality

Lost in my mind state
Wondering what role time plays.
My patience is weak,
Endangering my complacency.
Though conquering this, the fate I see
Is being unchained
Instead of playing this gun game;
Shooting myself in the foot,
Making the excuse, I'm misunderstood.
Not the path I need to walk.
I'm strong enough to lead, not fall
For the thesis
I'm as sick as my secrets.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

As long as your secrets remain in focus..
Good write could have been longer, but the form restricts length so it could have been twice the length to conform..
Great write, Yours Ian..

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Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

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