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My Own Champion (Birth of eddy styx)

My Own Champion
(Birth Of eddy styx)

you tried to master my
body, soul and mind.
with your actions stealing
my childhood defined.

you told me not to tell
as no one would believe me
because no one would care
so I may as well let it be.

I begged you then (first and last time)
please don't hurt me so?
you forced it, this thing called rape
this would be the beginning of my woe.

you were right, they didn't listen
second sister, your wife hit me
said "you must confess your lies"
so goes my violent history.

I baby-sat your children
while you and sister-dear wrought
the second shift, then you "drove me home"
another freakin' skirmish fought.

you continued to get me all alone
I would fight you with all my might
I would lose the battle and my rights
I blessed you with scratches and my bite.

how I prayed for this abuse to stop
I heard, "where are you going, little mouse"
as my breath stopped up in panic, then...
"you will not make the safety of your house"
(you were right, I didn't)

then one night, I became my own savior
quick as wind I snatched kitchen steel
before getting in the car to turn the tables
as you exposed yourself, numb I didn't feel
as eddy styx was born)

slashing at your privates I caught
part of your hand too, as you tried to block
a sea of blood from a small cut
you seemed to be in a haze of shock!

out of the car, running through the park
I left you to your own deceitful means.
later I heard from mom, you were in a fight
I'm glad not to be included in your lying schemes!
(I'm not sorry you had to cut your own bluejeans)

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I like the poem because it expresses one of the deadliest crimes which the young and old are commiting in the society.

"Words are currency of ideas and have the power to change world. Ride your pen on the rough road."

I wrote this poem to educate people about rape and crimes of violence. and to let other victims know that they are not alone and there is hope for the brave. thank you for your thoughts on this subject.

*hugs, Cat
ever, eddy

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author comment

to any one today
as it is the oldest game
since time was born
and many raped
as well as now
can't stop
old habits die hard
perhaps never may
styx dismay

let the world its own game splay
CATS STYX AND PETS
will never run away
fish ah never
and you know it
this poem is the cleverest one
you share with all
this world will move on

yes it could apply to many, both old and young, you are right. thank you for the beautiful poem and your support.

*hugs, Cat
ever, eddy

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

Try fix this line:
you tried to master me* (my)
body, soul and mind.

The negative impact of rape is emotional trauma!
Rape was redefined as violent crime rather than sex crime. Male domination against the women in order to have pleasure by force is unacceptable and it worth for swift prosecution. Rape also started to be examined through the eyes of the victim rather than the perpetrators.
Rape in some part of the world is now a culture. The victims now left in their fate.

A very interesting theme!

"Poetic license
gives
the poets
the free will to
embroider a good tale
and deviate from the established rules of language"~Jackweb

you would make a good spokesman to educate people on Rape, the act, the victims and the emotional damage it causes and its life long effect! thank you for reading and commenting on this poem!

*hugs, Cat
ever, eddy

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

the rhyme is kind of scattered and rough, but I would leave it as is, to emphasize the trauma, fright and then the anger.
Thank the fates that eddy appeared and took you to safety! You were lucky that the situation was that, that you couldn't have been gotten rid of or you might have disappeared for that trick. Good for you and eddy! ~ Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

I was thirteen, almost fourteen when this nightmare started and sixteen when I found that no help was coming. three years of abuse (which my mother one day told me that she knew about it, But: she didn't want to deal with it, for I was Stormy's slave labor/baby-sitter and Stormy need my help!!!) she couldn't afford a "Real sitter" and without one she couldn't work. if she couldn't work, then couldn't pay rent. that would mean she would move back in with mother with David and the kids. later "He" would molest his own daughter.. in the custody hearing I was asked to testify about my abuse so He wouldn't get custody. I asked Sis if she didn't think the judge would ask her why she didn't leave him when I was going through it under her nose? I said I'd testify... and tell the whole truth! she packed up and( with the new boyfriend moved to California in a big hurry. she left the molested daughter with David... and ran! she was up on charges for being unfit.)

*hugs, Cat

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And responds, please be courteous
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author comment

I know of this event you speak.

A personal & brave piece.

It has made you stronger but I’d have preferred a weaker you so you didn’t have to endure this violation.

You are the strongest person I know & I love you Sis.

Regards

One.

Ps. I didn’t critique, it stands as it is.

.
"with all that I am & all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me"

yes we spoke of it a long time ago, you were supportive and helpful, as you always are. I wish I could stop my dreams/nightmares from dumping me right back in it..I go for quite awhile, and I think it is finally behind me. then out of the blue, I'm very small and hit with the reminder/remembrance. I now think I got so strong that I was able to deal with life with my "family". this was just the tip of the ice burg!!!
I know you love me and it is one of my joyed treasures! I love you and trust you. you could kill someone or rob a bank and I would be there for you. I wouldn't judge you or ask "why"

love, Sis

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author comment

thank you for reading and commenting, I appreciate it. sometimes less is more ;)

*hugs, Cat
ever, eddy

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

The comments above say much of what I would have added here
.
no suggestions from me here, this is a heart-wrenching story that speak eloquently to the sadness's and violences driven by the act of Rape.

Nice work on a tough subject.

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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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I am grateful for your understanding comment, thank you.

*hugs, Cat

p.s.
it is worse if the attack is done by a family member. albeit an in-law.

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment
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