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My Nevada

Submitted by Teddy15 on Fri, 2020-09-18 08:56

I was twenty-seven year’s old
my spark gone
I couldn’t see anything
lost all hope in love

I was drowning
In my very own
sin city

I remember the day
and hour
my alarm clock died willingly

I felt nothing
I didn’t notice
every day was the same

Dark
Cold
Empty
Lonely

I pinned myself
to a bill board
on fremont street

Nobody saw me
a million tiny lights
and I still didn’t shine

Someone told me
If I wanted to touch happiness
I’d have to search the desert
With naked feet
I never did touch it.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
This is a re-post-- this is probably one of my most important poems. I am forever editing. i wrote it when i was 37, it took 10 years, i guess i needed 10 years to actually find the courage within to put my 27th year onto a page. I am forever grateful i did, it may seem sad but actually it's a past feeling, as im sure we have all had at some stage. and if not, you are really one of the lucky ones.
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

jerryk

Fri, 2020-09-18 10:06

jerryk's picture

I can imagine how easy it is for a young woman to lose herself in Sin-City, like Vegas or a place by any other name. I have traveled through Nevada several times, bypassing Vegas religiously because gambling and other vices were of little interest to me. However, one of my neighbor ladies had worked as a croupier in one of those gambling places and told me those almost unbelievable stories of human misery caused by gambling. Yours is a sad poem, but I'm so impressed that you had the courage to share it with us. Be well, sweetie.
Jerry

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>Please visit my website: www.jerrykspoetry.com

Teddy15

Fri, 2020-09-18 10:29

Teddy15's picture
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You found the connection to Vegas I planned it that way and the stanza with the lights on the billboard was inspired by the theme, I've always been intrigued by Vegas although I've never been personally , this was a moment in my late 20's that I am actually grateful to have had, It made me who I am today. infact Jerry i too see vegas as a bit of a dark place and is why i used fremont street, Thanks Jerryk for your extremely genuine review and kind words. A hug to you and your beautiful wife Sir.

Thank you...Teddy

author comment

Mark

Fri, 2020-09-18 21:37

Mark's picture
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It can be difficult to make good better or best best but this has impact.
Thanks for a great read.
From me for you:
https://youtu.be/VCVM50hw2a8

Joy and Peace,
Mark

Please comment anywhere anytime.

Teddy15

Sat, 2020-09-19 00:26

Teddy15's picture
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I love Cheryl crow, thanks so much for the kind gesture. Thanks for enjoying and understanding this my most important poem.

Thank you...Teddy

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