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My mystery girl

you sit behind a curtain of hair
face always buried in a book
you seem to gravitate toward the story
you're always in the land of tales
who are you my mystery girl
I never see your face
what words do the books whisper to you
when you sit alone in the library
why do you always blend in with the shadows
you are so closed in and sad
why won't you tell me why
my mystery girl, all dark and mellow
come into the light
let me see who you are, and what you hide behind
your hair is long and black, and covers your face like a shadow
your eyes are cold and blue, and seem to pierce my soul
your lips are small and taut and always in a frown
who are you my mystery girl
and why do you always hide

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
just a poem about a random girl who always is in a book. I still can't tell who she is but i know her because i know all the kids in my school. I want to figure out who she is cause every-time i walk up to her she runs off. weird but cool.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Beautiful. I can give no critique since I am not versed in free verse (sorry. Pun not intended). I would like to say how much I love this poem. Oddly enough, I felt like you were describing me (save that my eyes and hair are deep brown) which was quite thrilling and sobering. :)
~

"To reveal art and conceal the artist is art's true aim." Oscar Wilde

When you sit alone in the library why do you always blend in with the shadows?
Try reading without the (and)

let me see who *you*are, and what you hide behind /add a (you)

Curiousity, go say hi! She may just turn out to be a new friend?

Your compassion toward others shines in this, I too want to know more about her.

Thank you...Teddy

its even weirder now though cause she is wearing a mask. She is all mYstERiouS.(LOL)

Vivi
(Love hanging with my family of poets)

author comment

Double post, sorry.

Thank you...Teddy

thanks teddy! I like it better now. I can't believe i forgot a you. (LOL) :)

Vivi
(Love hanging with my family of poets)

author comment
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