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My little daughter
And I, just can.
To look at the sand, without looking.
Feel the movement of the wind, without moving.
To focus on life, without attention.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Geezer
Wed, 2022-08-31 06:23
This seems...
to be a reflective poem about how life just passes us by, while we stand idle. I'm not quite sure about the mood it produces. ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
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