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My heart
you were my dējàvu
I was your gladiolus
on a pashmina my dreams were wooven
wishing we could have a pas de deux
rapidly I feel my pleura plunge
then I retreat to plodding
and I surmise
it must be my malevolence in encumbrance
am I displaying bigotry
or stoicism
confusion as the order of the day
I cut my coat giving my heart a second coat
whatever the case may be
I conced
my heart is now chargē dàf-faires
now am back to the drawing board
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Dandini
Fri, 2020-11-27 21:24
It seems to me that you are
It seems to me that you are using what you feel are "odd" and "little known" words withy which you are not very familiar. But I could be mistaken.
"chargē dàf-faires" I fear is totally wrong. It's "charge d'affaires".
I hope you are not offended by my comments.
[This is a duplicate account of Edna Sweetlove and been permanently suspended]
funmzy Artz
Fri, 2022-03-25 06:53
Thanks
Thanks for the awareness
@funmzy
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