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MY EMOTIONS

Round Round Round
Vast Vast Vast
It doesn't get easier,
It doesn't seem lively again

Surrounded by emotional outburst
Yet,Want to Write?
Tell it to me,
When will the emotions not outburst you?

We never get to live a life full of fun
And even if we get to just for half of the day
For that period
Our memories are tied down to our own self
Our own way of living...Our loneliness!

The confusing moment?
Which seems so easy to everyone
Or the amusing moments?
Which seems so not fun to others
Weird..Isn't it?

Times of crossing over a piece
'Cus it seems to display emotional outburst
Times of turning to a new page
'Cus it seems not to portray the right feeling?

Yes!Every job has its own difficulties
Yet, none can be compared to a life moulding job
The cautious steps before reshaping souls
The ways of not misleading souls

Come, move closer
Two salts in different containers
One is properly covered in the rain\
While the other isn't covered well
What then happens to both?

And that's the way I can describe a moulder
They might get you a shield or even be your shield
No matter how strong the shield you get for them,
Their ordeals still bother them and get them down at a certain point

Our lives ain't perfect
Yet,we need perfect write ups
To save sinking souls
How then do we do this?

Its true we mostly share our stories
Telling them how we overcame
And sometimes makes me wonder
That there are some better routes,ways.............
That could have been taken for easy victory

Just in all,
I run up to my pen and book
And so far,this has kept me moving
You cant claim what you say you are,
Without having testimonies to back it up
FADERINSORO

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Contest: 

Comments

A good submission to the contest! I'm sorry I missed reading it before the contest was complete. School keeps me terribly occupied this time of year.

I truly love the line "When will the emotions not outburst you?" Such a unique phrasing and powerful image. It's such a common part of our lives that my most recent poem was about it, and another poem I read tonight was about it! I think that feeling of being overwhelmed with emotions or keeping them inside has plagued people since the beginning of time and probably always will, so poets will always write about it! And that is absolutely something to be thankful for. Your words and my words and the words of other poets may remind readers to let those emotions go.

Welcome to Neopoet, by the way!

Looking forward to more of your writing,
Kelsey

Advocates Coordinator

Critique, don't comment. Neopoet is a workshop and is designed to share your poetry, receive and make critique of the work posted, and most importantly, for you to evolve as a poet.

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