Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

to my dog (april contest)

.
It matters not I am unwise
I see acceptance in your eyes
I find my strength - your faith, you see
reflects the me I want to be

believing I can do no wrong
with adoration, pure and strong
your trusting soul implicitly
reflects the me I want to be

I see it when I speak to you
true devotion from someone who
so worshipful and wordlessly
reflects the me I want to be

you hold me in such great esteem
conviction in your love redeems
belies my past stupidity
reflects the me I want to be

you are my guide, assigned for free
for this part of eternity
and what is in your heart simply
reflects the me I want to be
.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Contest: 

Comments

This is beautifully crafted, now damn it I have to scrape the UK grey/USA gray matter and shake out a poem to pass this one.
You do make life hard lol,
Yours Ian.x

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

for the very kind comment
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

Thoughtful and creative as most of your writes. I got answers to most of my queries, except the rhyme part which i did not understand from what explanation is given in the sylabus

Good poem, good lesson

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

Thanks for the read and kind comment

As for the rhyme
This form can be written in couplets - 2 verses per stanza
You will see, that this way, every verse will rhyme
Eg
in spring we hear the roses sing
we thank you, Lord, for everything

your trees protect from summer's sting
we thank you, Lord,, for everything

those autumn flowers have their fling
we thank you, Lord for everything

and winter's solitude.... so now I'm stuck lol
- It is difficult to write this style in English, because of a lack of rhyme in that language as compared to other languages - French, especially...

If writing in quatrain, the rhyme scheme can be varied...
aabB ccbB ddbB and so on
or AbaB cbcB dbdB and so on
or even baaB bccB bddB and so on
(B being the refrain)

Does this make it any clearer?
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

Thanks as always for your time and effort to elaborate and answer my queries. I am really grateful for that. However, honestly, purely due to my limitations, I still haven't understood what is meant by (B being the refrain) in what way b is different than B and what exactly is meant by refrain..

Anyways, it is not fair for me to expect you to go on giving explanations by sparing your valuable time..hopefully, I may be able to find answers over a period of time by following verses from experts like you ...so please do not invest your time on a mug like me..

Best regards and thanks

raj (sublime_ocean)

Maybe I can help. In what I have seen,the "B" the refrain is the verse which is repeated again and again in each stanza while the "b" is the line which rhymes with the refrain but it is not the same verse in each stanza.

Alid

I knew you could teach.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

Thanks. However, to a mug like me it will take time to understand what you are saying by looking at the submissions of proficient poets like you.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

Damn! I should have waited and craft my poem longer. Love the flow and imagery. A question though, is this supposed to be iambic throughout the poem? the 2nd stanza's 2nd line seems to start with anapest.

Alid

You know, you can alter your poem as much as you like, as long as its done before the closing date of the contest... so add away if you wish - but personally, I love your write as is...

well, iambic.... actually, a lot of the verses are not iambic.... and (shh) one foot is actually trochee (for syntax)...
but they are all octosyllabic, so I hope the judge okays it ....

I see Wesley's comment below, that it is supposed to be pentameter
lol, I wrote this in pentameter first, then half read the rules and changed it to tetrameter...
perhaps I should change it back?

but I see you also wrote in tetrameter....

it'll be the judges call, I guess....
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

general.

The Kyrielle is a rather loose sort of form. Stay close to the form and you have a kyrielle, stray too far and you have a different piece of poetry.
Judyanne's poem is most surely a kyrielle. I love the way she worked the aspect of worship in the poem.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

lol - I wrote it at first in pentameter, then read the rules, saw octosyllable, and then my mind must've blanked, and I went back and changed it to tetrameter (losing a lot of the iambic on the way)

I'm wondering if I should change it back or not.... I'm not sure that I don't like this version better ...
thanks Wes for the comment
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

Loosen up.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

I'll take that as a 'leave it alone'
xxcx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

Ahh - what a lovely poem. :) Great flow, and lovely sentiments. Good luck in the contest.

Love to you

Mand xxx

thank you very much for the lovely comment and luck wish
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

Just a note to let you know I dropped by. I'm not going to say much until I get a poem posted in this month's contest because I'm not sure how hard this is until I've tried it lol. In ref to comment above. All entrants have until the 22nd to edit their poems. The monthly judge won't begin judging process until then.......stan

for the visit
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

all through, together with the refrain. :)

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

Thank you
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

Another well written one

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

for the visit and kind comment
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.