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My Dear Mother

Mother is a nurturer and protector
Mother is a conception vessel
Mother is an incubator of progeny
Mother is a woman with a big heart

Now I clean your house
Prepare your meals
Manage your medications
Put food into your mouth
Make you morning tea
Wash the sleep out of your eyes
Put your glasses on
So you can see my face
Smiling back at you

Disease and old age, a second childhood
Now we have reversed roles
And I worry about you
My Dear Mother

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

difficult to fulfill the role of nurturer and have the roles reversed. Not hard in the sense that it not something we don't want to do, but something that we never figured we would have to do. I love the things that seem so simple, yet something that is done for her comfort. Washing her face and putting on her glasses, so that she can see your smiling face, the face of the child that loves her and is ready and willing to do for her, the things that she used to do for him. Very well done! ~ Geezer.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

Many thanks for your kind commentary, it is an interesting challenge and a personal subject to me, my relation to my mother and all she means to me.

author comment

I agree with Geezer in all that he has said. I can only add that these lines are repetitive:

Mother is a nurturer and protector
Mother is a conception vessel
Mother is an incubator of progeny
Mother is a woman with a big heart

I suggest that you try something like this:

Mother is a nurturer and protector
a conception vessel
an incubator of progeny
she is a woman with a big heart

for a smoother flow. it is only a suggestion, to use or not.

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

thanks for the feedback and suggestions, good to meet you too !

author comment
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