Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
The mute whisper
I am the assassin
If you see me it’s already
Too late
Can you feel me breathing
Upon your neck
Too late
There won’t be time
For a spine tinkling scream
Too late
Out of the darkness
You will not see me come
I‘m in your head
Look in the mirror
Just to your left
I’m in your head
What was that noise?
In the attic or was it the shed
I’m in your head
Blood already cold
While lifeless eyes
Stare straight ahead
Not one breathe
Can be heard
One last mute whisper
It’s your imagination there’s nothing wrong
It’s me talking, you’re already dead
I told you I was in your head
Too late!!
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
a life sucking tumor.
two of mine have gone that way
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
User login
Author information
Region & Country
New York City, N.Y. Spanish Harlem
Favorite Poets
P. Neruda, Jose de Diego, E. Dickenson, R. Frost, there are many more, but these had the greatest influence...
Other recent work
Active Workshops & Contests
Contest
Workshop
- Wading Pool: Neopoet How To Video Resources
- Olympic Pool: Earn A Poem Workshop 2
- Olympic Pool: Earn A Poem Workshop 1
- Plunge Pool: Stream Workshop
Comments
Eduardo Cruz
Thu, 2010-12-30 19:47
Ian
thank you so much, wise guy LOL
always Eddie
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
author commentGeezer
Thu, 2010-12-30 12:01
When Killer saw this...
He made me stop and read ! We enjoyed this much, and can't wait to see more.
Killer has good taste in people, LOL . Would you be interested in starting a workshop?
~ Geezer
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Eduardo Cruz
Thu, 2010-12-30 19:50
Gee
tell killer to send me a PM, and we'll talk about the WS
thanks for the read, and your funny comment.
fear always causeus to make light of it after,
I know because I've been there!
again Thank you
Eddie
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
author commentNordic cloud
Thu, 2010-12-30 13:19
I'm going backwards and forwards
Round and inside out,
and I liked this internal external
mental sickness of a poem,
snaking its way through the labyrinths of the brain,
exciting and strange this one.
Yours Ann
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.
Eduardo Cruz
Thu, 2010-12-30 19:54
Ann
"snaking its way through the labyrinths of the brain," that's it, it's happen in the darkness of the brain.
great read from you!
thanks for visiting, the dark dungeon of my brain!
Eddie
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
author commentEduardo Cruz
Thu, 2010-12-30 19:57
Rosi
if you felt the shiver,
too late. LMAO!!
thank you sweetie glad you could take the ride in the spooky house.
Always Eddie
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
author commentEduardo Cruz
Thu, 2010-12-30 19:59
Shirley
Hehehehehe!
it was, that was a big part of the idea when I pen it. I'm happy you connected!
Always Eddie
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
author commentKailashana2
Thu, 2010-12-30 16:29
Is this about my pet Earwig?
Is this about my pet Earwig? http://unicornbacon.com/scarred/?p=216
It's not nice to scare the bejesus out of Anna!
~A
Eduardo Cruz
Thu, 2010-12-30 20:03
Girl!!
I didn't think that was possible. i take that as a huge compliment.
thanks Anna
no more bed time stories for you young lady! Hahaha!!
Always Eddie
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
author commentEduardo Cruz
Thu, 2010-12-30 20:07
earwig
is much scarier then my boy!
Eddie
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
author commentEduardo Cruz
Sat, 2011-01-01 01:14
Chrys
thank you so much for the 'EXCELLENT'.
I don't know what to say after a comment like your.
all I can say is;
thank you again!
Always Eddie
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
author commentlou
Sat, 2011-01-01 04:22
Eddie
I think it's quite an effexctive poem but. In the third stanza you say 'spine tinkling' I think this word is a little soft for the piece, maybe you could say ' bone chilling.'
Good poem though.
Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
Eduardo Cruz
Fri, 2011-01-07 16:15
Lou
p why I did not use my friend, this poem is about a brain tumor, a tumor affects the motor control.
what happens is that messeges are not send from the brain to the receptors on our spine and other muscle, for instance speech. that's why I used the term "spine tinkling" a scream will not come if you have loss the power of speech hence a vegetable. I hope this clears up why I did not use bone chilling. there is on fear worst than not being able to move, and express that which you are feeling.
thanks Lou for the effective no 'X"
always Eddie
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
author comment