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Mr. Mirror

Submitted by Apostolos "Paul... on Wed, 2012-06-06 22:30

Hey, mr. mirror, have a minute
Thank god were alone
They would definitely put me away
For speaking to an object on my wall
I don't see anyone else here

See, this cosmos is definitely a woman
No man admits these many moods
One moment she says yes you are a man
Then she says your such a fool

I know I’m talking to myself and it’s a bit weird
Is it homicidal to wish agony was strangled
What if I wanted to kidnap sadness
Does that mean I might need a lawyer

Shucks, I swear some people are so fake
I actually consider them puppets that talk
Was that offensive, well mission completed

I probably sound like I’m insane
According to my psychiatrist
I am a danger to incompetent people
Come on is that really a crime
Shouldn’t they be given masking tape
And asked to wear it when they speak
Mirror put the phone down
No need to call my shrink
I was there last week and he let me out
Said I was untreatable, how rude

Guess I’m on my own in this cosmos
Now I look like I’m craving pity
Oh, now I sound like a victim, damn !

Mirror if you could speak would you tell me
To stay on my pills or that I’m incurable
Don’t worry I know I’m the fairest of them all

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Rett

Wed, 2012-06-06 23:48

Rett's picture

Just a couple of grammar changes I would make as follows.

Thank god were alone (Thank God we're alone)

Then she says your such a fool (Then she says you're such a fool)

Nicely done. It's serious, then you can't help but smile, then serious, etc. and the ending leaves you with a smile. Damn good!

Respectfully,
Rett
"If all printers were determined not to print anything till they were sure it would offend nobody, there would be very little printed. " Ben Franklin

Rula

Thu, 2012-06-07 01:53

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I have always under the impression that the mirror is a Miss/Mrs. but never a Mr. Lol
I like the idea that the mirror could be a friend to listen when there are no
real friends accompanied - though you might be called insane.

I think this is a nice read and would be great if you give more attention to your punctuation
like question marks , capitalizations and so on..
I particularly like

'Mirror if you could speak would you tell me
To stay on my pills or that I’m incurable
Don’t worry I know I’m the fairest of them all'

Have you read mine 'MR. Rainbow?' I think you'd enjoy it too

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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Ian.T

Thu, 2012-06-07 02:16

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Maybe, just maybe, you should get out more, or join an expressive group of people like poets, this never happened to me as I smashed all the mirrors in the house as they lied to me, They portrayed a man getting old with wrinkles and teeth that never shone bar being next to a beer, or beer being next to the bar, they did let me out for a while but now they say the key is lost, I will go and tidy Yenti's dark room it smells as all old folk smell pee and things, but don't tell him he'll get cross. I will think about your write when doing the chores but I guess it will be called great, by all that read it.
I must go now as Yenti is calling, Take care and have a lovely day, Yours Sparrow

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Rula

Thu, 2012-06-07 02:28

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but if the mirrors are just enough they should too reflect the soul . Just then Ian I am sure you won't need to smash any of the mirrors but will be proud to see your reflection every moment...:)

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram
https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Ian.T

Thu, 2012-06-07 02:36

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I was just being my naughty self lol and having a little play on words.
Not sure if you do that it is fun to be serious in a fun way with changing words and meanings with a mention that the piece written is very good anyway.
Yenti has gone for a walk with the children in the woods not sure how long he will be probably 5 feet 10 or even 1 metre 80 lol,
You take care out there in that paradise send some feelings and visions to me they are free , Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Sergio Vagros

Thu, 2012-06-07 18:51

Sergio Vagros's picture

Mirrors are portals to anywhere Ones soul wishes to go...I liked this poem..

Vag
Dare To Dream

Nordic cloud

Thu, 2012-06-07 14:36

Nordic cloud's picture

This is very good, Paul,
like a short film to me, I take part in it all and really
feel like you when reading this. Its not without some
humour either, that always makes things in good
balance, both for yourself and for a poem, too much
dismal sadness can even depress the reader.

"Hey, mr. mirror, have a minute
Thank god were alone
They would definitely put me away
For speaking to an object on my wall
I don't see anyone else here"

Yes a short film, or a very well done cartoon film.

Ann.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

Sergio Vagros

Thu, 2012-06-07 18:49

Sergio Vagros's picture

Well this is a weird little rant but I totally know it..I like the simple language and all out honesty of it... Good read...Vag

Vag
Dare To Dream

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