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Mouthwash [Sunku]

Submitted by raj on Sat, 2018-06-30 16:14

sun sets
erasing
lurking silhouettes

shows up
announcing
new beginning

time to
rinse foul smells
of yesterday

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Rula

Sun, 2018-07-01 02:50

Rula's picture
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A special last stanza.
An uplifting little gem.
Thank you for sharing.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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raj

Sun, 2018-07-01 04:31

Thanks Rula for stopping by to read. Good to know you liked it...

i was contemplating to change first line of last stanza like this

dew drops
rinse foul smells
of yesterday

but then thought that it would not make the reader think which is part of the requirement of aesthetics of Sunku [ meaning there should be a hidden message]
................................................................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

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