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Mountains cry too.

A lonely person stays to not be alone
No matter the pain, the hurt, the lies.
No one wants to be alone
feeling the emptiness at night,
going insane with the need to be held,
spoken to,
smiled at.

Yearning for the need.
A need to be kissed,
a need for love.
The love won't come, fooling yourself
Trickery at its best.
Deception.

Then its over, said and done.
Pure lonliness has come.
Silence at night,
creatures creeping around every dark corner,
and you just wonder why.

Where's my hero to save me from this?
This looming emptiness,
tearing your emotions down.
Turning strong mountains into fast rivers of tears.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
I haven't written in awhile. Bear with me on this one.
Editing stage: 

Comments

a quiet strong maturity in this
your descriptors and word use flow
is amazing The emotive quest and
thought in reading is startling
This work for me has an intuitive
gentleness all the lines are my
favourite but the one most powerful
for me in this read was the last
line "Turning strong mountians
into fast rivers of tears"

extrememly poetic

Thank You

That would have to be my favorite line too.

author comment

Ive met so many older poets (and young)
whom have gone through a blightful life
and are embittered..whom twist away at
feelings and focus in their minds the
rights of this and that...But I whom
have been through the this and that choose
to feel..choose to listen to this voice
for this is where I can read and feel
what is alive as opposed to what may
be correct for form either in art or
writing...strangely enough we develop
and on another site there is a young
poet whom overnight fell into her own
with a poetic voice and power that is
intense and amazing! I prefer to no
longer purchase books from the store
and chose to find the real time poets
here.. Your work young Miss from
all that I have read in my time surpasses
most! there is nothing like true raw
talent... I had many detractors in my
day..and those that just knew I had
"it" and you my dear..have "it"

Thank You and I look forward to your
developing work!

Mr Esker

it was a nice experience to read and feel through this write..moreover it reminded me of a beautiful poem written by a very young girl Kelsey Cartright from Canada with a similar title "When mountains make you cry"...if i am able to lay my hands on it..i will share it with you and others here..

raj (sublime_ocean)

Although the poem tells real emotion, I can see you haven't been writing much lately.

I am used to better imagery and more potent language from you.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Yeah, I haven't been able to write much lately. Real busy. I'm going to try to start more though. I need to.
Love, Adri.

.

author comment

Nice to meet you.

It is my humble opinion that you could lose the first two lines of this poem, because it is implied in the rest of the poem.

these lines:

Yearning for the need.
A need to be kissed,
a need for love.

would sound better without the repetition, like this:

Yearning for
the need to be kissed
to be loved.

These are just suggestions. to do with what you will.

I liked these lines:

Where's my hero to save me from this?
This looming emptiness,
tearing your emotions down.
Turning strong mountains into fast rivers of tears.

always, Cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

A very good write, there is a line between Esker's comment and our loving Elf that is a place to be when having someone read your pieces.
Just be a little careful of repeated words as your fist few lines where alone could have been altered to another descriptive word.
The theme for you to write about is hard, later as we become alone in one way or another those feelings will infiltrate your writing.
I wrote The Great Bears Wisdom and his take on Solitude but at my 3 score and 10 years still can't ace the feelings..
Maybe as the Great Bear I don't want to go there.
Your writing is of the highest level so just keep on writing, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

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