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Most want... (To Die In Their Sleep! by:eddy styx)

Most People Want:

(To Die In Their Sleep) by: eddy styx

I see you
deeply, kissing him good-night
I sense you
behind the closed door
I know your
bedroom walls & drapes
I feel
your satin bed sheets
I smell
the decadent perfume
I taste
the sickly dregs of death...

I am hidden there,
as, you open the windows
turn out the lights,
turn off the bell on your phone,
slipping fluidly into bed.
sleep comes gently, as you close your eyes,
falling utterly under it's spell..

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

at the alter-ego who resides in a relationship. I thought it very engaging and clear about his feelings for you. Most writers that have an alter-ego, do not ever address the relationship with their host. I find it most interesting, and did not realize how I have dealt with this matter of my own, until I was framing my response to you. I think that it also goes to show the difference in the borning of an alter-ego. Hmmmm... I do believe that there may be something to this conjecture. Thank you for this insight.
~ Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

I am not most writers, or even most people. Steven says that I have a lot of masculine philosophies and my approach to life is more masculine than feminine. not many little girls are taught how to fight when they are young, lol.

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

you do seem to be a "Tom Boy". My sisters all took lessons from me or my brothers. We never had to defend them; by the time we learned about anything happening, it was all done and over with! LoL Hugs from all, ~ Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

you had lucky sisters!

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

exquisite words
of SILENT death

we love to wade away in our sleep
no fear of the twin mind
are you awake
eddy

awake, watching and waiting!

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

I love your poem.

"Words are currency of ideas and have the power to change world. Ride your pen on the rough road."

thank you very much for both reading and commenting. have a good one...

ever, eddy
*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

The way you created your poems sometimes stirs up goose bumps on my skin. Your structural, grammatical, rhythmic, metrical, verbal and visual elements, all are in place.

Apt and beautifully crafted piece!

"Poetic license
gives
the poets
the free will to
embroider a good tale
and deviate from the established rules of language"~Jackweb

thank you very much for reading and commenting! I enjoyed your review, very much.

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

I love your style of writing.

"Poetic license
gives
the poets
the free will to
embroider a good tale
and deviate from the established rules of language"~Jackweb

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