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Morpheus Magic
Morpheus Magic
Membrane pulses, nearly parting,
naked thoughts assail its wall
twixt sleep and dream a portal opens
into chaos all shall fall
twisting neurons, helter skelter,
memories that never were
time itself is topsy turvy
and the cosmos is a blur
fact and fiction blend together
in a recipe of when
turning whimsy into nightmare
making demons out of men
children spring from wombs of evil
dead things rise to walk again
music has no rhyme or reason
passion ends in searing pain
black sun shining into darkness
seas of blood float ships of gore
naked priests are masturbating
spewing seed on heaven’s floor
round and round a spinning maelstrom
swim the silent spawn of death
diving deep beneath its thunder
needing not a single breath
all converge at edge of morning
covered with the sheen of sin
eyes pop open, scream arising,
knowing truth will soon begin
C. Lon R. Bruso
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words:
Read it or not, leave feedback or not, it matters to me only that I wrote this and felt compelled to share it.
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
mand
Tue, 2015-01-06 12:07
Hi Lonnie
Another great poem! The god of dreams / matrix is showing his mischievous dark side in this fantastical poem - there is no need for critique or advice on this poem it is perfect as it is. ( in my humble opinion )
As is true of all your poems - this one is well structured and flows to perfection! :)
Nice work!
Love Mand xxx
Lonnie
Tue, 2015-01-06 21:36
Thank you, Mand
Feedback is always important to me, and I especially enjoy hearing from you!
author commentwesley snow
Tue, 2015-01-06 12:20
You never fail to amaze me.
A marvelous nightmare. I love mine.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
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Lonnie
Tue, 2015-01-06 21:38
Thanks Wesley,
Glad you enjoyed this little dark write, and I am pleased with your comment!
author commentscribbler
Tue, 2015-01-06 16:02
Hi Lonnie
That thin line between dreams and reality.....a fortunate thing that however thin that the line Does exist. Enjoyed the read....stan
Lonnie
Tue, 2015-01-06 21:39
Thanks Stan,
Glad to see you got back on line okay!
author commentIan.T
Tue, 2015-01-06 18:55
Lonnie
A trip into that dark side
This is where the mind must not dally.
It s hard to write these things and dwell with their message.
I loved the baseness of the write it came to visit without an invite.
Hope it has now gone to its rightful place and left you with a peace of knowing that it is not a place you will go.
Take care young man and travel light,
Yours as always, Ian
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
Lonnie
Tue, 2015-01-06 21:40
Thank you Ian,
Dark side, light side, doesn't matter much to a poet who has seen both and must continue to write about them! Glad you stopped by!
author commentEsker
Wed, 2015-01-07 00:59
I like this immensely
A vivid write!! all too real in todays realms
boredom..people getting away from it
All...
This poem has life!!
Enjoyed the read much
Your a really neat writer
close to the grit of things
an authenticity and oomph in
it..
Thanks Lonnie!
Lonnie
Wed, 2015-01-07 08:12
Thank you, my friend!
Every once in a blue moon my evil little mind comes up with something worthwhile! LOL!! Glad you enjoyed it!
author commentweirdelf
Wed, 2015-01-07 11:59
Fuckin love it man!
Deep and dark and nasty.
I've got no crit to offer so will insult you with my reading in an Aussie accent (actually it's a tribute, but Aussie men, I suspect like American men, find it hard to give their mates compliments).
So here goes.
https://soundcloud.com/user536630132/morpheus-magic-by-c-lon-r
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
weirdelf
Wed, 2015-01-07 12:01
An interesting note,
your poetry is easy to read aloud, very few poets have your wordcrafting skills.
So many could learn from you, just by reading your work.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Lonnie
Wed, 2015-01-07 13:11
Thank you Jess,
Enjoyed your reading of the poem, and although I don't feel qualified to act as an instructor in poetic technique, I do what I can simply by posting a poem or two here and there hoping that someone can glean something from the content thereof. Thank you for the vote of confidence, it is greatly appreciated!
author commentweirdelf
Wed, 2015-01-07 14:05
yes
I've been slow to learn that. And it has caused grief between us. I'm sorry.
I've changed my signature for you, Esker and other achieved poets who teach by example.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
judyanne
Fri, 2015-01-09 08:57
awesome write lonnie
Great descriptive, great rhythm and rhyme as per usual for you...
Nothing to offer by way of crit - i wouldn't suggest you change a thing
- i have missed reading your works while i have been away
Love judy
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
Lonnie
Fri, 2015-01-09 11:42
Thank you very much!
And may I say its good to see you back on Neo!
author comment