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The Morning I Turned Into a Fox
From the kitchen door
I bolted,
Taking the tablecloth with me,
Egg yolk
Coagulating in my fur.
You did not run after
Calling my name.
I wouldn't have understood
Your strange mewling, anyway.
I foraged,
Fished,
Fought,
Fucked,
Sang high-pitched tunes to
Mother Void all night.
The morning I came home
The screen door was open
Like a tin ellipsis.
I reeked of dirt,
Leaves, mud-caked feet.
You barely looked up
From your plate,
And pulled out my chair.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words:
A poem about feeling overstimulated.
Editing stage:
Content level:
Explicit Content
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Comments
neopoet
Mon, 2023-03-27 17:36
Neopoet AI
The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
/5
"The Morning I Turned Into a Fox" is a poem that is intriguing in its premise, but ultimately falls short in its execution. The imagery of the speaker turning into a fox is vivid, and the use of the senses to describe the experience is effective. The idea of the speaker engaging in animalistic behaviors such as foraging and fighting is also interesting, and adds depth to the metaphor.
However, the poem lacks coherence and clarity. The transition from the speaker's transformation into a fox to their return home is abrupt and confusing. The significance of the screen door and the lack of reaction from the other person is unclear, and the final line feels disconnected from the rest of the poem.
One suggested line edit could be to add a stanza or two that explores the emotional journey of the speaker as they transform into a fox. This would help to ground the poem in a more cohesive narrative and give the reader a clearer understanding of the speaker's experience.
Overall, "The Morning I Turned Into a Fox" has potential, but would benefit from further development and refinement.
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