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Morning Bones

In my sixth decade now, with a front row seat
to the beautiful and fearsome march of days
on their way to fewer of them

What else, other than time,
do we have so many grievances with
but are still so grateful for?

I see life’s passing markers damaging my body,
leaving consolation gifts of memories, good ones,
and lessons-learned ones where wisdom should come from

Time scoffs at my attempts to negotiate terms or conditions
Its empirical handiwork tells me how it’s going to be;
looking back at me in the mirror or feeling it in my morning bones
I expect time will keep subtracting, minus this, and minus that,
but hopefully leaving one more day

If, gratefully, the difference is greater than zero
I’ll gladly accept the result with anticipation
of seeing the sun set one more time in the west,
over the green hills crowned in fog
and better understand the treasure

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
Feeling my age of late, but still grateful for being here.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

well-written. The only thing in the writing which confused me was the march of days marching to fewer. The days are marching to those already past, yes? If so, aren't they marching to more of them, i.e., more days past?

I'm ambivalent about the title. I would like the title to add something new to the poem but the phrase is also in the poem body.
Maybe either the title or the line could change.

One too many grateful's for me. I feel like the one in stanza two is much more effective than the last stanza.

I am sitting close to you in the parade and this poem speaks to me. Nice work.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts Arrow!

This poem is about the passing of time. Real time for all us moves forward (but it can move any direction in our thoughts, of course). Arguably, after the passing of each day we all have fewer of them left. At least that's what I was trying to convey.

I wasn't crazy about my title, but I liked the term so I went with it. Considering some alternatives.

I'll consider the issue with too many "gratefuls" a personal preference nit, so will probably leave it alone... maybe... LOL!

Thanks again - cheers!

Michael Anthony

author comment

Yes with the passing of we become happy wit just one more day. The ninth line though.....in my opinion it should be divided into two lines. I expect you know where. A good read

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