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Monster Munch

I want to eat some children
They’re yummy as can be!
Look! They’re really tasty
I’ll have them for my tea.

I spo’se I’ll have to cook them
No! that’s against the law,
But what else can I do
I cannot eat them raw!

Besides I’m on a diet
And they’re like lumps of ghee
They’ll expand me midriff
beyond capacity.

I’ll snack upon their digits
I know that they’re fat free
Serve them up with salad
Co’s that’s low calorie.

Oh yes! I am a monster
I’m really in the mood
Here I am to get you
I’m hungry for my food.

But when I try to eat them
they writhe and wriggle free
Squealing happy laughter
They run away from me.??

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Comments

your poems for children mand ????
i'm positive i've read a few of these genre from you
love this
love and hugs
judy
xxxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

You've got a good memory. This is an old one. Hope your o.k. It's wet and windy here!! I hope you are enjoying the sunshine.

Thanks for reading and commenting Judy.

Lot of love Mand xxxxxxxxx

author comment

He he! not enough meat on them anyway.LOL

could serve em up with beans, they're low fat!!

Hey thanks for commenting Shirl, it's a privelage to have you all visit.

Love Mand xxxxxxx

P.s where's me pic. LOL

author comment

And I think your grandchildren must have had great fun reading this perhaps you were jogged in memory yourself and used it as an entertainment ruse?

Now I shall go hide from you as I don't want to be eaten either and I am still a child when mixed up a little with children, run and get my costumes on or act the clown with them and they laugh as your do with me, I just love to do that.

My sister did the same thing, she composed an absurd poem for the three young grandchildren (under 12) and they hung round her laughing and adding suggestions; that's really fun, being creative together, they love it, don't they?

Greta stuff reminds me slightly of our Ephriam of long ago!

Love Ann in the slushy snow.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

I loved pretending to be a monster - catching them and tickling them, it's ashame it doesn't last longer for they soon grow up.

My grandson has composed a poem about me!!! for some reason the word "fart" keeps cropping up, don't know why. I've put it on the wall in the kitchen - makes me laugh every time I see it.

I miss Ephriam Cruds poems he was sooo funny. But there are a few others on the site who are funny as well.

Thanks for coming by Ann.

P.s your pix are outstandingly beautiful!!!!

author comment

A nursery rhyme that Killer might have listened to as a child. I thought that the choice of words were just what a child might like and understand, and the title was good too. it flowed nicely. I was a little perplexed at the question marks at the end, and the lumps of ghee? ~ Geezer

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
.

the explanation of ghee, and now that you have explained the question marks, I do understand, and yes, I think they fit. ~ Gee

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
.

Hey nice of you to come by and comment.

Lumps of ghee = lumps of fat

The monster ( or me pretending to be the monster ) is on a diet.

One of my grandsons was quiet chubby when he was young.

questions marks were there to indicate surprise i.e Why are they running away from me?

Perhaps they are not necessary though - what do you think?

Glad of your opion and I appreciate your comments. Thanks Geezer.

Love Mand xxxxxxxx

author comment

Great and spine chillingly poetic!

I loved this the whole way through...it may scare the kids but had me nervous for a while there!

My son will love this, I can't wait for him to come home.

thanks,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

I've had so much fun with my grandchildren over the years playing the monster - they just love being chased. My youngest grandson is nearly three - my older grandchildren pretend to be monsters and chase him - absolute pandamonium - they love it. I hope you have as much fun as we do!!!

Thanks for reading and commenting HS

Love Mand xxxxxxx

author comment

Thanks Shirl, brilliant title.

Love Mand xxxxx

author comment

Very nice work Mand,

This one reminded me of the song "Puff the Magic Dragon" by Peter, Paul and Mary that we so LOVED as children.... close to half a century ago.

There is a touch of Dr Suess in this little piece too.

The last verse sort of confirms the setting of a loving grandparent, with tongue firmly in cheek.

The Henry Higgins in me deduces from your choice of words: " They’ll expand me midriff" (rather than "MY midriff") that you live in England... which might also, in some strange way, explain your familiarity with "Ghee"!

("Not just Hungarian, but of royal blood... she is a PRINCESS!!" )

Cheers

Psyve

Thanks for reading and commenting Psyve, pleased to meet you!

Cleverly deduced I am English although I have lived in South Wales ( Nr Swansea ) for the last 17ish years. I had a Indian friend called Rajes, she used to cook with Ghee!

Hey thanks for your lovely comments and I appreicate you coming by to read.

Love to you

Mand xxxxxx

author comment

Good to see you. Hope your o.k.

Thanks for reading and commenting

Love Mand xxxxxx

author comment

Brothers Grimm have nothing on you lmao. Extremely enjoyable and smooth...........scribbler

I'd give em a run for their money. LOL

Great to see yeh! HOpe you + family are all o,k.

It's cold in Wales! Brrrrr

Love Mand xxxxxxx

author comment

This is quite a fun little poem, I can't begin to count the
times I've been the monster threatening to eat up the
kiddies ... squealing happy laughter, one of life's finest
pleasures hearing children laugh.

thanks for posting

Richard

Great to hear from you.

Thank your for reading and commenting!

You are so right it's all about the laughter and having some fun time. And all that running around is good exercise!

Thanks once again, hope you are o.k.

Love Mand xxxxxxx

author comment
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