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Money Mania

I want to stay up all night,
but I don't know what for,
Full wardrobe, empty bank balance,
Yet I'm always wanting more!

My heart is racing
and my mind won't shut down
I need things to fix my problems,
And I want it here right now!

I will have them in every colour,
I always fancy something new
That will fulfil my constant craving,
For perhaps a day or 2.

Knee deep in parcels,
But nothing is in the fridge,
My cupboards are all empty
Time for another nothing sandwich.

Don't judge me, I'm learning,
Next month I will be all over this.
I know I said that last time,
No I am not taking the piss!

I am in complete control,
And I know I will stop real soon
I just need to pay 5 grand to ebay,
And £500 to Carolina dressing room.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Last few words: 
I suffer from bipolar and when I'm manic I cut through money like nobody's business and I don't sleep, and I hardly eat. Every month when manic I promise myself and others I will stop but I never do!
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I have wondered where you had gone.
I will hope for your complete recovery
when you may get your impulses under control.
It is possible!

In the meantime, keep writing and working on it.

1] I would delete the [balance] in line three
it helps the rhythm and does not hurt the idea.

2] change the line: I need [that] to [stuff]
delete the [all] in line three second stanza

3] [fulfill] proper spelling

4] Change line two in fourth stanza [and I know I'll stop real soon]

Good luck, and keep writing, We miss you!
~ Geezer.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

Awww hi I've been busy getting myself better with EMDR and the right meds, I'm in a manic phase right now and it's weird because I normally write when my mood is lower, but this morning I was awake shopping for more stuff I don't need and the words popped in my head.

Hope you are well xxx

author comment

as can be expected. Thank you. After rereading, I realize that I was wrong to ask you to delete the word [balance], I'm not sure what I was thinking. Sorry. ~ Geezer.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

I remember you! how have you been? I have a suggestion: before you "hit" the enter button to post your poem, read through it to catch your mistakes. I am OCD and DID, so I understand much of what you say in your poem. the right medication helps me greatly. it took trying a lot of different medications to find the right combination. Good luck.

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Hiya! I'm manic right now and writing poetry when I'm like this is weird, when I've of low mood I over analyse everything and make sure it's as perfect as can be but this is a rough draft that was written in the wee hours of the morning so I was just slamming down my ideas! Xx

It's lovely you missed me, I missed you guys too xx

author comment

so don't be a stranger... or do you have constraints on your time? all I have is time, now... so I wander the halls of Neopoet and haunt the pages of poetry, LOL!

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

No not at all I just get busy as I'm selling clothes to make money for my anniversary in 10 days its been 10 years and I want to do something special xx

author comment
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