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In the moment

Submitted by marich7 on Mon, 2021-06-14 02:21

Serene June evening,
Cricket songs blanket silence,
Trees watch from afar

By: Maurice Hubbard

Style / type: 
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
It's been a while, and this is the first time I've been able to write anything in a long time. I wanted to try a haiku. I wrote this while sitting on my porch, smoking a black and mild, listening to a meditation playlist on Spotify. I actually wrote 3 haikus in total during that, but I liked this one the most. My first title was "Detachment" but I wasn't sure if that was coming through so I just switched it to "In the moment".
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Geezer

Mon, 2021-06-14 08:43

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Detachment wasn't the right title for this. In the moment is much more suitable. I feel that you spent your time meditating wisely, excellent job! ~ Geezer.
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