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The moderna passionata youth

Youth emerges each day
Passion
Yet To Awaken -
BEAUTIFUL imagery
sexy
river like a snake
manly
hidden within

you have the signs of passion
emotion
but as in early youth
yet frozen

let loose all inhibitions
the forests
are dark and deep
but all life
we search within it
as passion seeps

you have the basic essence
of all that is human
so continue
the anaconda will rise
you know it

life s a river
snaking its way
through the forest
we all call
LIFE

now get a suitable
lover
girl friend
or wife
live a life
now outside
of
hopefully
strife

youth is calling out
for you
just flow and go

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

and I think that the allusion to snakes being like a river of life and youth are very apt. Nice work!
~ Gee.
.

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years ago
I introduced the human pole
akin to a coiled snake
some Aussie young guy
said
man root it in (u know what it means)
now a days
weall r
moderna

it's you know now
an anaconda
and
vanilla rich
metaphorically
apples dangling tastily

genuine vision had he
an intelligent
though GAY guy
sad I couldn't pull him out
of the lower drains ...

author comment

A very unique take. I have no problem with the snake as an erotic symbol, life symbol, but some readers might. I might consider just a few images/word play about the snake to set it up. Make it look/feel sexy. Sexy like a river snake needs a bit more development.
Once that's established using the snake image as a life force works. It need not be redundant, repeating the word life:

life s a river (is it "life is" or "life's"?)
snaking its way
through the forest
we all call
LIFE

The snake has such wonderful duplicitous meanings I think you could continue with it in the last part of the poem urging all to enjoy passion and the eroticism of youth.
I think you are on to something...you could of course make the words form a snake in the concrete poetry/image style...The poem is directed towards an abstract "you" and might also be more personal if directed towards someone, and including yourself. Put some "I" in the poem.

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

some thing more!!!! has come up
shall revert
when tension
is less

author comment

WOW

author comment
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