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Misery's Defeat

Eyes that
Cry through the night
I beg of you to find strength

I know that melancholy
Has crippled your faith
And that hope
Seems like a rare artifact

Yes, this world
Has turned its back
But there is a fire in our soul
That makes us find a way
To fight whatever life
Throws our way

Giving up might seem right
And the pain might be unbearable
This I know from experience

I know that belief
In ourselves in these tragic times
Decreases in a rapid way

That is why I ask
You to trust in me
And I shall
Sever the head
Of your misery

Style / type: 
Free verse
Editing stage: 

Comments

I like this a lot, except for stanza 3 - the cadence seems off, to me. I think it's in the last three lines, perhaps they need to break in a different place, and become two lines, instead?

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

Agreed with Jim as above... can I offer a small suggestion please. How about "and I shall help you sever the head of this misery" or "together we can sever the head of this misery" Just my take on it, but it's a thought provoking, supportive dedication to whomever it was written for!
Thanks

Bonitaj

Hi Paul

Are you perchance of fan of Douglas Harding? http://www.headless.org/english-welcome.htm

~Anna

p.s. Isn't it wonderful how things DO work out?

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