Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Of mirrored reflections in broken glass

I read your heart
to the trees
they swayed
in their thrall,
crimson streaked
my hands

I lay offering
in mirrored chance

besides your dog,
never looking past
the leash and collar,
I noticed the ghost of you
content to smell the ground
muttering of lost moments

ever ignoring the madness
that seethed below the surface

of me … or you ?
I had no clue till

I noticed your mirror’s
are shattered
every single one of them

in each broken piece
I’m screaming for you to let go

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
This is a poem that made it onto a list of great poems and an achievement for someone who starred as a roses are red kinda poet° ... Anyway, Jess months before he died encouraged me to go back and revisit old poems with fresh eyes. Just goes to show eh ? I did do some tweaking. At this stage I am as always humbled by anyone who has suggestions.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

many things that could have inspired this poem and since it is by your own admission, old; I'm not sure that I could fathom the meaning. I do think that there is some unresolved issue here, that you wish put to rest. I particularly liked the lines: "I noticed the ghost of you, sniffing the ground and muttering of lost moments." I think that it it gives a vital clue and hence the feeling that it is an unresolved thing. Oh, I begin to see... I think so anyway. If you have tried to portray the emotional moment
of recieving or giving redemption. I do believe you have succeeded. Only crit. I see is the apostrophe in the word [mirrors]; you don't need it. Love and higgest bugs, Sis. ~ Gee.
.

Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
keeping in touch We have poets around the world and it is fun
to have real-time conversations with those that are up
all night or on the other side of the world.
.

I noticed a comment before I logged out. I thought I'd pop in for a sec waiting for the morphine to kick in lol Dude you're so damn close to truth, it's killing me not to tell you but I wanna keep it a secret. For the time being. I'll reveal all in 2 days hence. Lol. Redemption both the giving and receiving. You know me too well. Hahaha lol

Much love and higgliest bugs Sis xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

author comment

Hi, I also am a little confused. All the same, your poem has whittled my curiosity. At first I thought it is about a dog you lost, but it doesn't seem to be, not all. The title, spacing and all else is fine. I'll return to know your secret.
You've had a good teacher, I'm sorry that I never knew Jess. I wonder why you wrote "besides your dog", I think you mean "beside", not sure.
All the best, Gracy

*
*
*
"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

As I said this is an old poem, once upon a time there was a greats of poetry list. Very few poems from Neo made it onto that list. This one and another of mine made that list. Silly to be so chuffed that some poem made a list but I was so proud. I was the only one with 2 poems on the list. Anna and Richard also made the list as well. There were others but off the top of my head can't think. I have a paper copy somewhere. This has a very personal meaning. It's to do with mental health and redemption. If you're really interested I'd be happy to write a step by step explanation for you. It's a poem that I never thought was very good until a critic told me it was. Who knew lol

Kindest regards
Jayne

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.