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Mirror, Mirror Tell the Truth

Mirror, Mirror Tell the Truth

As I stand here, at last I see my face
in carnival’s unflattering fun house glass,
the mirror that reveals the truth. It unveils
the facade I have used to hide myself within.

These eyes … so insincere! They lack the essence
of a human soul, and though I can conceal
each lying eye behind a shutter lid,
it still sees what it want to see.

My brows--I knit them furiously to hide all vicious
thoughts inside my devious head;
this mouth is curled so savagely, prepared
to spew forth lies built on distorted truth.

Do not ignore my ears; they search,
like radar, for false words that I may spread,
while my nose grows, with each abhorrent lie,
into an even larger malice-seeking probe.

Is this distorted fun house mirror’s image
perhaps the one I share with you?

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
Editing stage: 

Comments

I like the straight-forward language that describes the face and demeanor of the character.
~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

At times we should take a good look at ourselves, preferably in a fun-house mirror. Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the creepiest of all? Not I, of course, lol. Appreciate the comment,
Ali

author comment

To express such a negative view of yourself you probably hold yourself to very high standards. I relate. Unless I'm wrong. Perhaps we are a little judgemental too, it comes with the territory. Is transference the word?

Excellent imagery. I've only read two of your poems, really enjoyed them both and look forward to more.

I also look forward with some trepidation to your critique. Remember giving critique is a crucial part of how Neopoet works.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

being judgmental isn't all bad, and yes I lie now and then to protect and save the innocent -- me. lol. Pleasure meeting you and thanks for the comment.
Ali

author comment

me of the movie "Carnival of Souls"

thanks for stopping by. I'll need to rent that movie. Much appreciated,
Ali

author comment

I enjoyed the poem a lot, the nice use of words in the distorted reality of those mirrors. I think we can all relate there is some deep hidden fears and doubts we have about ourselves, like masks.
So I think we all share that experience of you describing yourself.

I personally am unsure of the last stanza. We kinda already know its about the collective I".
but I wasn't expecting it, so my first reaction was "who, me?"
One idea is to just repeat the first stanza in the poem at the end. A lot of poets do that, and sometimes is very effective. Try it once or twice, see how it feels. it just ties it together for me..

also the title, the closeness is too much to Sleeping Beauty mirror mirror (on the wall, whose the fairest one of all?) since it has nothing to do with that fairy tale, I would reconsider.

Hope I'm helpful, with respect
E

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

via mirror painted versions of himself
and when he was not doing that he painted others
sketched..
they were not as honest interpretation of the
struggle within his mind soul and heart as other
surviving works..perhaps he also destroyed much
and how quickly stress...weight loss.....ilness
changes people...i have mental conditions
take medications..for a time sketched myself
and they too varied..im always changing my
appearance...i think its the reflection..
or from a poem here..
the contentment..i liked that word
that is missing in the self
why schizophrenia is aural a lot of time
the voices..which to my friends are all
too real....
sound is a reflection like light..
the interpretations get skewed
mood...the highs...exhaustion...
fear....all reflected in his color
tones....he was a classic study
the new phones are little mirrors
one can widen ones face
adjust the lines for transforming
women into masculine
shrink the nose..enlarge the eyes
or the apps for total fun...
then cosemetic surgery

i loved the fun house mirrors
the exagarations were great
humor...but often people
search and find the unplesantries
myself for a time i had a great
fear of mirrors.....
the reverse interior landscapes
belief of spirit lands beyond
sometimes i covered them up
with a sheet

siouxsie and the banshees
did a great cover
called Looking glass

either way a paradoxal
work
very thoughtful
i much enjoyed this

mr wolf

I can't tell you how much I appreciate your insightful comments. I fully agree with you about the title and will change it to Truth in Mirrors, or something like that. Also, I'll play with your suggestion to use the first stanza as a befitting ending. Never thought of that. Thanks very much for your welcome suggestions. Yours,
Ali

author comment

thanks for the terrific comment in which you told me something about Van Gogh, the tormented painter (I am painter as well) and then your own fear of mirrors.
My write is of a self-deprecating sort, like a satirical look at myself in which I question my own integrity as a human. Have no fear; I'm not as bad as those mirror images made me out to be, lol. Esker, thanks for your interesting thoughts; much appreciated.
Ali

author comment

Jess says
You lie about yourself
and you are permitted to

I lie and get laid
who
what poet you
how dare
you compare
yourself with those
who live behind hedges high
read no more
run away
what a poet are you
most say
yet read me too

I must be
but lying doesn't become me
as I am of a standard so low
you may not like to stoop
ere
your spine bends for a second
and
another one will take a toll
and many will just say
LOL ....LOL... RFLOL
and roll

Then the bell for me will toll...
Some one will still ask
for
WHOM THE BELL TOLLS

Hemingway may come out
from his grave
and
say
of course Lovedly
we here admit
do poets of neo
we permit

I do not speak, write, or read Swahili and have a hard time figuring out whether I'm being scolded or praised by you. Thanks anyway.
Ali

author comment
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