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Miracles

Submitted by greeneyes on Wed, 2010-12-01 01:25

Ugly little caterpillar,
Crawling in my hand,
Do not be sad, my tiny friend,
One day you will be grand.

You will cover yourself with silk,
Then sleep the winter long,
You will awaken with a burst,
At the mockingbirds first song.

For when the sun melts the snow,
In her throne up in the sky,
You will be born again,
My darling you will fly!

Bright colors, your wings will have,
How pretty you will be!
Just hold tight my little friend,
Soon you will be free.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

scribbler

Wed, 2010-12-01 07:46

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I think this is the first poem I've read on metamorphosis. It's sweet and lovely. I have a few ideas that might help flow a bit :
l-5 You'll spin yourself a bed of silk
l-11 You will find that you are born again
these are just examples and I'm sure you can come up with much better alternative if you care to change YOUR poem which is very nice as is........................scribbler

magics02

Wed, 2010-12-01 08:03

Like a caterpillar crawls it is once reunited with colorful wings flying so gracefully and free to cascade in the air.

Great one here lots of images for me and philosophical in nature

Blessings to you and the family
Love - Mona
xox

Geezer

Wed, 2010-12-01 10:30

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to see you here again, I really liked this one. It kinda reminds me that all things change, and there is beauty everywhere, even in an ugly little caterpillar. Your rhyming is great, and this flows rather smoothly. ~ Gee

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greeneyes

Tue, 2010-12-07 23:43

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Thanks to everyone!Yes scribbler it does need work! I I will come back to this one soon.

Much Love,
Elizabeth

author comment

Candlewitch

Sat, 2010-12-11 10:22

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This is lovely and your rhyming is smooth as spun butter! I love the theme. I hope you are well.

love, Cat

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loved

Sat, 2010-12-11 18:13

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Green Eyes
You so vividly depict,
The transformation of life,
From a caterpillar emerges
A butterfly
And then she flies away
To help the conveyance of pollen,
From one flower to another
And helps the modes of transplantation

So your poem so explicitly proves
My theory of evolution,
Green Eyes you have some call you
Elizabeth,
They must perhaps know you,
True,
But for me Green Eyes would do.

loved

Eduardo Cruz

Sat, 2010-12-11 18:33

Eduardo Cruz's picture

The rebirth in to a grander life, like traveling the bi-ways of life from a child and spreading your wings of adulthood. that is grand.
I loved everything about this write. the ugly ducking story, but you gave it real life.
Always Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

greeneyes

Sun, 2010-12-19 15:34

greeneyes's picture

great to hear from all of you

Much Love,
Elizabeth

author comment

Candlewitch

Wed, 2011-01-12 11:12

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You will cover yourself with silk,
Then sleep the winter long,
You will awaken with a burst,
At the mockingbirds first song.

This is just beautifully written!

love, Cat

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When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

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