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Minimosity

Momentary bliss
of grace and humility
sparkled in dew drop

no mortal expectation
benevolent expression

Style / type: 
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

Just beautiful what more can i say, what a perfect little poem

Much love biggest hugs Jayne xox ...

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

so very nice of you Jayne to drop in ...thanks for your read and comment..means a lot...

much love and warm hugs...take care...

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

tis lovely like minusculity
lovely seasoned poetry.. tis

thanks lovedly for the visit, read and comment..

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

you excite me... others only tickle------

Perhaps some day
one day
upon my shoulders flowers you all will lay
when you come to know of my poetic way

I have no hard feelings against anyone
here or any where
all to me are abs dear

like you Ian or Geremia or Jess
I must confess
you are the strungs of a ladder I sway upon
and climb with shaky legs all along

a simple poet
a bard as you honour me
and I feel humbled and anchored to the bottom of the vast any where sea
where will you find a gem
if i say like me
Jess will say again blasphemy
and whinere you
so and so he may also call a bustard or bastard
heaven knows

upon your smiling faces
did Loved glow
and now this all Neopoets know

when Alid, Raj and Jayne know
all must Loved know.

Of course Esker and Snow man do
Those who kicked me
and spiked me earlier too
I like them too

they taught me the baby steps of poetic run
nay climb
now perhaps like them I too shine
but perhaps only
ask MOON MAN and many others who said
Loved blast you!

you are being very kind with your words Lovedly...you are growing in stature as you keep trying and innovating...keep it up...

best wishes and regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

i just learnt the meaning of sublime
i used to think tis some sort of lime
you are really sublime

thanx raj
some day when we meet
under an umbrella at Juhu beach
you may ask me
r u the Lovedly
and smile with me

Loved this one as is just want to ask if the form was strict:-
Momentary bliss 5
of grace and humility 7
sparkled in dew drop 5

no mortal expectations 7
just benevolence 5

Did you mean to make the last line 7 syllables in the true Japanese form or was it our poetic licence.
It is lovely either way,
Yours, Ian..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

Thanks Ian for your read and comment. Thanks too for pointing out that syllable count of last line is five instead of seven...I have fixed it now..

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

Aptly titled, and though succinct, still carries its message with dignity and grace! Very nice work!

Thank you Lonnie for your time and visit. Your read and comments mean a lot ..

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment
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