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Mine Man... [Idletime workshop]

Jealous; guard your secrets
don't give them all away
Just little, tiny bits
small pieces every day...

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
Last few words: 
I think the brevity of the poem, helps to make my point.
Editing stage: 
Workshop: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Yes protect yourself from those who want to stomp on your dreams, I like this because it's short and it rhymes and it makes a very good point. I have one question, why Mine Man?

Thank you...Teddy

because: It's MINE man. My time, my pieces of life, my personality. ~ Geez.
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author comment

Definately not you my dear,

So just to mix it up something like
me, me, me man?

Thank you...Teddy

[The title change, I mean]. Thank you. ~ Geez.
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Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
keeping in touch We have poets around the world and it is fun
to have real-time conversations with those that are up
all night or on the other side of the world.
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author comment

You know I only give my thoughts so I'll leave this (the me, me, me man). Or something more obvious than mine man, I actually got the title but I think you can definately make it stronger. It's always a pleasure.

Thank you...Teddy

Sorry.

Thank you...Teddy

I like short poems but I think it is a wee bit too short. Perhaps a better title may be thought of.

Be well..

raj (sublime_ocean)

Okay

Hlm life without literature is a life without logic.

mine, mine, mine! Not yours, MINE!
~Geezer.
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Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
keeping in touch We have poets around the world and it is fun
to have real-time conversations with those that are up
all night or on the other side of the world.
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author comment

It's MINE! Geez.
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Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
keeping in touch We have poets around the world and it is fun
to have real-time conversations with those that are up
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author comment

Hi, Geezer,
When I read your poem title, I thought of those seagulls in "Finding Nemo" - mine mine mine mine! Of course the seagulls reminded me very much of the way people, especially children, act with their possessions. Reading your poem further takes on a bit different meaning for me - as if one is being extremely protective of who they are and have become. If that's the case, how does one do that?
Thank you!
L

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Exactly that! You have to have a split personality. Not just a double, but as many as... Well now, that would be telling, wouldn't it? ~ Geez.
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Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
keeping in touch We have poets around the world and it is fun
to have real-time conversations with those that are up
all night or on the other side of the world.
.

author comment

I foresee a Martin Scorsese film in (one of) your future(s)!
L

short ,abrupt , to the point so where is the rest?

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