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Mine Man... [Idletime workshop]
Jealous; guard your secrets
don't give them all away
Just little, tiny bits
small pieces every day...
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
Last few words:
I think the brevity of the poem, helps to make my point.
Editing stage:
Workshop:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Teddy15
Mon, 2020-07-20 02:06
Dear geezer
Yes protect yourself from those who want to stomp on your dreams, I like this because it's short and it rhymes and it makes a very good point. I have one question, why Mine Man?
Thank you...Teddy
Geezer
Mon, 2020-07-20 08:41
Mine Man...
because: It's MINE man. My time, my pieces of life, my personality. ~ Geez.
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Teddy15
Mon, 2020-07-20 08:56
I got that
Definately not you my dear,
So just to mix it up something like
me, me, me man?
Thank you...Teddy
Geezer
Mon, 2020-07-20 08:59
I am considering it...
[The title change, I mean]. Thank you. ~ Geez.
.
Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
keeping in touch We have poets around the world and it is fun
to have real-time conversations with those that are up
all night or on the other side of the world.
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Teddy15
Mon, 2020-07-20 09:05
Dear geezer
You know I only give my thoughts so I'll leave this (the me, me, me man). Or something more obvious than mine man, I actually got the title but I think you can definately make it stronger. It's always a pleasure.
Thank you...Teddy
Teddy15
Mon, 2020-07-20 09:15
Double post
Sorry.
Thank you...Teddy
raj
Mon, 2020-07-20 02:14
Hi Gee
I like short poems but I think it is a wee bit too short. Perhaps a better title may be thought of.
Be well..
raj (sublime_ocean)
Edward nigma
Mon, 2020-07-20 07:38
Raj
Okay
Hlm life without literature is a life without logic.
Geezer
Mon, 2020-07-20 08:44
It's...
mine, mine, mine! Not yours, MINE!
~Geezer.
.
Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
keeping in touch We have poets around the world and it is fun
to have real-time conversations with those that are up
all night or on the other side of the world.
.
Geezer
Mon, 2020-07-20 08:42
Because...
It's MINE! Geez.
.
Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
keeping in touch We have poets around the world and it is fun
to have real-time conversations with those that are up
all night or on the other side of the world.
.
Lavender
Mon, 2020-07-20 09:07
Mine Man
Hi, Geezer,
When I read your poem title, I thought of those seagulls in "Finding Nemo" - mine mine mine mine! Of course the seagulls reminded me very much of the way people, especially children, act with their possessions. Reading your poem further takes on a bit different meaning for me - as if one is being extremely protective of who they are and have become. If that's the case, how does one do that?
Thank you!
L
Neopoet Chat
Mon, 2020-07-20 20:40
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Geezer
Mon, 2020-07-20 20:58
Yes...
Exactly that! You have to have a split personality. Not just a double, but as many as... Well now, that would be telling, wouldn't it? ~ Geez.
.
Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
keeping in touch We have poets around the world and it is fun
to have real-time conversations with those that are up
all night or on the other side of the world.
.
Lavender
Tue, 2020-07-21 13:43
Hi, Geezer
I foresee a Martin Scorsese film in (one of) your future(s)!
L
c lynn brooks
Mon, 2020-07-20 11:25
Geezer
short ,abrupt , to the point so where is the rest?
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Neopoet Chat
Mon, 2020-07-20 20:46
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