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Metro Nights with Digit (Visit to the USA)

The darkness woke Digit in his room
He knew he would have to wander soon
The Ramadan in Eastside he chose to hide
To find for his sharpened blade a bride

It was a cool evening in full swing
Digit left to do his nasty thing
To the prime of the city he did go
On the Metro he would start his show

Greeting the gate keeper as he smiled
Don’t worry you are safe my child
Let me catch a train to anywhere
Let’s see a ticket to butcher and scare

Digit rode the beast of the underworld
Not caring where, the walls were blurred
An hour or two he just glided on
Watching those travellers getting on

He knew inside that they couldn’t hide
From his shining blade that night
Later some would have such a fright
Looking for a solitary being he sighed

This is a new place for me to kill
A trial to check that he retained the skill
It was with a gleam in his eye
Spotting a solitary traveller by and by

What he would call a clown in a suit
A banker or some such waste of space
Smug swine you will not wine tonight
He gave up his life without a fight

So fast was digit’s arm in its arc
No time to give the suit a start
A fine blade he chose that night
First kill in New York a tidy sight

The train blurred its beckoning wall
The dead man didn’t have time to fall
Digit had to smile a pinkie he cut off
In his seat he perched his kill so chuffed

Digit a happy man a new world in his head
He walked off the train to the other side
Caught the next back to where he would hide
The city would just go on, another man dead

This is bad Digit was not impressed
The death on the metro wasn’t addressed
He then made up his mind to show them
That one death by him was a bad Omen

They would soon have to take note
Digit was knocking at their doors
The best serial killer racking up a score
Tomorrow was another day on this shore

To the hotel he walked as in a dream
This place is easy or so it seemed
New York, well he had heard stories
But it was early morning no worries

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
He's Back..
Editing stage: 

Comments

the near rhymes that you made.
I was intrigued with the change of pace in the pattern and wondered about why you might have made the changes when you did. Still, we think that Digit will have a fine time here in New York and make a name for himself. ~ Gee and Killer.

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Come back to me on this one,
where the change of pace and pattern is.
As usual I just sit and write.
I sometime rhyme ab-cd then some ac - bd it just happens is should there be a set pattern???
I love the way that Stan always does the ac - bd rhyme but I slip back into ab - cd most times, should I standardise.
The change of pace in this one is probably due to Digit being new here and not wanting to be so severe (d) as it were lol.
He is not sure about himself in New York so he has to be more careful, the next one as he says will have to wake them up a bit lol.
Thanks for your visit can't wait for that feast of Long pig on the beach one beautiful evening, will send an invite to Killer and Nevermore, Yours Ian.T alias Digit He He

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

Ian the beast of the underworld as a metaphor for a subway train is catching , and you tell the stories in your poem indulging the audience to a must read, I'm quickly familiar with this digit, and his cold blade though warm in his victims flesh bringing that eternity you speak of, these ideas even spot more light on the metro stations the vivid imagery on the people there

Thanks for your visit,
I have put the Digit Blog back up to the top of the stream,
it is Part 1 to Part 10 enjoy he is a bad boy,
Yours Ian . T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

Beware of the cops and FBI, they would try to follow you on Metros but I am sure you have the guile to jump their gun, till Scotland Yard comes in, when they know that a Brit is at the heart of this thrilling story...what a poetic plot you have created with your killer instincts...you had me killed for sure with this one :)

Stay off my trail will you?...anyways I am not boarding any Metro till I read the headlines "Metro Killer is caught "...lol..

raj (sublime_ocean)

There is one thing that Digit doesn't do and that is use the same place twice, he seeks out a place that is of interest to most people and puts his mark on it, usually a red mark, lol.
I have to do some research to see where he is off to next, not sure how long he will stay in New York there are so many places to see and to sharpen his wits on not forgetting the knives lol.
He cannot be caught I see you are taunting him with cops and FBI well we will see where he goes next, take care out there he has a passport for many places LOL in the States he wont be there long enough to need a green card I think he will see the red card and leave the field to Killer and Nevermore,
Yours Jack Sparrow.
PS:- I am the only one that knows him, so I will keep you updated He He ..

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

Boy! you are as sharp as the knife and as witty as Sherlock...lol

raj (sublime_ocean)

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