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Metamorphic

Submitted by BettyBuff on Mon, 2013-01-21 04:54

As landscapes go
its not dramatic
no high plains drama
no fragmented paving stones

the cliffs are banded
like wrapped candy-cane

Not even a lighthouse
to relieve the ash-like mud lines

It has a timeless sense
I could be a Victorian
a genteel visitor
or a rocker's moll

I sit on a gluteus shaped dip
of rock on the shore
in fact- place of daughters
genesis

her dad thrust & fumbled
under cover of twinkling
sheets soft ebbing swooshes

Gave me what I wanted

I return and sit
still and somnolent
often times
recording the
metamorphic changes
in my life

My place of healing
my bottom-shaped touchstone

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Jenifer James

Mon, 2013-01-21 05:19

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This is so gentle, Ells, and I 'saw' your place. You have 'bottom -shaped touchstone' and 'bottom shaped dip' - this repetition might be better if one was substituted for another word for one of them? I like the imagery of candy cane and cliffs.

Jenifer Jaspa James

BettyBuff

Mon, 2013-01-21 07:02

BettyBuff's picture

Poem is about a little corner of the north Norfolk coast near a place called Hunstanton...a very typical old-fashioned seaside resort. I've been there since my own childhood and my daughter was (to her constant embarrassment as I always used to shout out..."oh there's the rock where we made you!".) Terrible mum, eh?

author comment

Frenchf

Mon, 2013-01-21 14:06

And truthful mother. Still havent told my daughter she was conceived in a car in Fleet street!

BettyBuff

Mon, 2013-01-21 15:00

BettyBuff's picture

K U D O S! hahahahaha...wow, good luck with that one, classy bird :))

author comment

Frenchf

Tue, 2013-01-22 13:08

Just desperate!

loved

Sat, 2013-03-09 09:25

loved's picture

you speak the truth ...the whole truth

I admire you F
for you guts
in a car you gave ...
birth the first insemination...
did he accept it !!
i wonder still

loved

Frenchf

Sat, 2013-03-09 16:54

But lust!

BettyBuff

Mon, 2013-01-21 07:05

BettyBuff's picture

I'll do a quick edit...thanks :)

author comment

Seren

Mon, 2013-01-21 06:55

Seren's picture

I would also know where this was set I had in mind sweeping vista on the corner of England ... lovely poem hun made me feel peaceful

Brava

love Jayne-Chloe xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

BettyBuff

Mon, 2013-01-21 07:04

BettyBuff's picture

Hiya JC,

Well I became pregnant after visiting! LOL...its a very gentle seaside resort on the North Norfolk coast in England...not dramatic landscape...just wide sandy beaches, huge skies, perfect for contemplating life. :))

author comment

Seren

Mon, 2013-01-21 07:08

Seren's picture

sounds like a place I would love to contemplate, one day maybe you can show me ? smile

:))

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

BettyBuff

Tue, 2013-01-22 18:13

BettyBuff's picture

Miss it v much. My parents still live in Norfolk, so I'll see it again sometime, I'm sure :))

author comment

loved

Sat, 2013-03-09 09:34

loved's picture

some years ago
I had shared with someone their experience

on a hard rock
as big as the moon,
they two lay entwined
and some jerks and cuts on knees
here and there ...
both happened to burst
and later in the year
they loved the one
Who became a poetic verse...?

Sometime decades ago twas...

loved

Lamar Ingraham

Fri, 2017-04-28 18:55

Lamar Ingraham's picture

Mrs. Ellie has an astoundingly tuned voice — graceful, sincere, firm, authentic, and at times funny — telling just the kinds of stories we need to get us through these times

V/R,
Official 1SP

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