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Meshing Haiku

River rises swift

                  In cold spring morning

Wet snow melting as it falls

                  The north wind penetrating

Pushing sheets of rain

                   Over mountain pass 

Style / type: 
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words: 
Meshing Haiku is one that is structured 5-7-5-7-5 and the left and right side can stand alone as individual haiku but work well as a whole
Editing stage: 

Comments

Its a beautiful poetry but its not haiku since haiku has only 3 lines and follow the format of 5/7/5 syllable counts.. Even if you meshed it up a haiku still has only 3 lines.lol.

Alid

and Welcome to Neopoet.

I enjoyed this poem, and I learned a new form, 'meshing haiku"!

I can find no fault; you imagery is great, you have stayed with the form, and it all comes together well.

Good poetry.

Respectfully, Race

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

Thank you for your review and encouraging words.

author comment

sheets of rain..
been awhile since I heard that
and in a poem
even better!!!
better was I remember seeing
it..working in it and just
having too be in it

thank U

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