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Memory Link (primal poetry)
A trumpet has been blown
For unity
For brain work
For love
For peace
The flute has given
The rhythm
The melody
The hope
The joy
For the time of old
Never dies
Our forefathers
Our forethought
Our time to renew
For the colours we see
The sounds
The timing
The prime
All started afar and now and ongoing.
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
Workshop:
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Comments
weirdelf
Thu, 2019-07-04 07:09
Simon, do you have some religious reason
or other inhibition to practising the the shamanic trance as described in the workshop?
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Simon
Sat, 2019-07-06 03:49
I'm a Christian by religion
And I can use that pattern as well but maybe you seems difficult to understand my pattern of writing,it's okay I try that way.
weirdelf
Sat, 2019-07-06 06:51
when you close your eyes you see colours and patterns
if you then meditate while listening to the drumming they start to form images. Just describe the images and what you feel, don't worry about making it poetry.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
weirdelf
Wed, 2019-07-10 06:16
Simon, I just re-read this and I owe you an apology
It is me suffering from preconceptions, not you.
This is your vision and it is sound and honest.
Do try some of the different drumming tracks I just posted on the workshop thread, there is a Michael Leunig poem that says it nicely-
"Let it go, let it out
let it all unravel
let it free
and it can be
a road on which to travel."
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Simon
Tue, 2019-07-16 04:10
It's okay
You don't need to apologise poetry has difference sound and sizes and is not that easy to understand all at the same time, thanks for getting it after all.