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A Melody of Hope

I've lost my truest love,
There's no need, for me to wake up anymore
I don’t want to hear the Nightingales sing
I don’t care if the spruce comes to greet me

On my windowsill all my bread is stale
As stale as the thoughts that run around my emptied mind
Tasteless, is the evenings dinner
I still cook for my love, in hope
He will come back to eat supper with me

I wish he was here, Just to hear him laugh
And see the way his eyes lit up
When I baked his favorite pie

Just one last time I wish he was sitting on his favorite chair
Staring into my eyes with his warm smile

I told them to go away, them Birds

"Whistle your music to someone who cares"

"I'm no audience for you"

But for some strange reason
They kept coming, every morning

I often think, why me?
Why did I have to feel the joy of such love
And then have it ripped away by death?

Why, why me?
Then a thought Comes to mind, and I think

Well, I must be the luckiest person in the world
To have had that special love

And even though it's gone
I can give the birds their fresh bread, they so deserve because

They never gave up on me
And I shall never give up on myself.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
writing poems can sometimes feel as though you are relieving all anger by throwing plates against a wall, this is one of those poems, sometimes we do need to throw those plates.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Unfortunately I know this song too well. Your poem, wow, I know those thoughts and feelings. I think you've described it well and that yearning screams off the page, for me anyway. I think the bones are there and flesh is there too it just needs a few little tweeks. I'm an old hack here I've been away for a while. I joined in March of 07 I think it was.

I really really like this. I do have some thoughts but at this stage I want to get a feel for everyones work and a feel for their writing and I guess their soul for a better word. In time I will come back but for the next three weeks this is the best everyones going to get from me as I'm moving after being here forever and I have lots to do. Mostly making lists as I'm pretty sick. I promise to give lots of attaboys though lol lovely to meet you I really look forward to reading more of your work. I'm excited I have only scratched the surface and I think there is so much new blood with promise.

P.s. that third line before nightingales song ? It needs an 'a' or a 'the' everytime i read it and reread it I'd pull up and that line just didn't flow right.

Kind regards Jayne x

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

Or alternatively you could change song to sing ?... ok dinner time then I'm back to read some more.

Omg I cang help.mysrlf lol this line

Well, I must be the luckiest person in the world
To have had that special love (in the first place)

I dont think you need the bracketed words. Less is more. In some instances.

xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

Thank you, sometimes we can look and look and we just don't see it. Usually I write how I speak so yes sometimes it's a bit off beat.

Thank you...Teddy

author comment

I write how I speak sometimes and sometimes it can be an accent/internal speak conflict. But I dont think it is in this instance

Hugs J x

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

is this a re-write? I could swear that I have seen this before. Maybe I'm getting one of those flashes of precognition, that I sometimes get, like Deja Vue. Anyway yes, sometimes we need to throw something or smash something. I feel like that a lot lately. Good write in anycase. Hope that it helped. ~ Geez.
.

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i put it here a few weeks ago and then took it away because i never seem to have the courage to leave biographical poems however i put a title on it and edited it and so here it is. Yes lets smash some plates together Gee, its time to smash all the plates and walk away happy for a change! ps i'm impressed if you remember one of my poems, thanks for that Sir.

Thank you...Teddy

author comment

a very visual person; almost to a detriment. I can't even remember the words to any of my own work, until I see them. But once I see them, I do remember. I can read a book or see a movie and once I've seen them, that's it. I don't ever save books or hardly ever watch a movie for the second time, unless it is something that I have a profound interest in. This is a topic that interests me, because I have seen it first-hand and I wonder about what kind of a human-being can do this? You also made it seem very real. I hope that you are doing better each and every day. ~ Geez.
.

Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
keeping in touch We have poets around the world and it is fun
to have real-time conversations with those that are up
all night or on the other side of the world.
.

This is actually about my best friend who died she was a new mum and she left a 1 year old I don't think I could ever stop being angry but I learnt to except it because her son who is now five was diagnosed with autism, so my darling friends husband is having to bring up his son in this situation. If I could I would throw plates at the wall every day, although he is an amazing dad I've never known him to show his sadness, it's just that it happened in a very dark period where another friend lost her son to brain cancer it's all around the same time he was 3 years old. 2013 to 2015. I guess it has made my poetry what it is. I know you understand what I mean. And thank you for opening my biography because you are very kind and I don't mind to share. I guess I can honestly tell you that I find it really hard to cry now because in that period my tears were run dry.

Thank you...Teddy

author comment

and you are welcome. ~ Geez.
.

Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
keeping in touch We have poets around the world and it is fun
to have real-time conversations with those that are up
all night or on the other side of the world.
.

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