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Mellifluous Sky (Primal Poetry)

Out of darkness you fall
Land on weeping limbs
Wash over my spirit
Mind-tap sweetness

Erratic like the wind
Summer breeze evocative
Pleasant delights
Your voice amplified

Soothing repose
Your sadness summonses
“Join me”
Essence lifted

Clean and pure
Needles dripping euphoria
Who are you?
The kingdom of consciousness?

Everywhere, so becoming
I am in your demesne
Joining a melancholy
Bonding with your nature

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Workshop: 

Comments

A concise free form version of my experience and I forced myself to NOT read any other shop poems until I wrote my own.......strange

This is obviously polished. Also it is from a memory that came to be. This is a poem I had thought of writing from time to time over the years yet could not put together. At first I was having many memories then this one stayed. I really don't believe this is what the workshop is about though. I think Carries poem and my second attempt is more what the workshop is trying to do.
Keep it going,

~Mark~

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author comment

I truly feel there is not a thing to change here. Again, not in the workshop, but I plucked this from the stream. It reaches deeply into other hearts this write (mine for sure), pulling out beautiful echoes of empathy & admiration. Mighty impressed .

Cheers
Anni

My dear friend always told me "Water the seeds of joy first"

Just don't be surprised when "Out of darkness you fall" and actually feel yourself falling, and landing, just as waves washed over my face and I smelt salt and sulphur during my Watermana trance.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

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