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Meeting of The Minds (with Geezer)

In the doorway she stood
without a care.
His expression priceless.
As if he never saw someone
floating in thin air.

She watched him stare,
despite the jagged tear
Self-inflicted from ear to ear.
Still this handsome fellow,
showed no fear.

Bloody kisses
caught in the breeze
He thought her head,
may fall off with just one sneeze.
Her decaying heart skipped a beat

Her voice is in his head now
She speaks without a sound
He doesn't know just how
But he likes having her around

Are you all alone my dear?
Take me home tonight
Just hug and hold me near
Though I know I'm such a sight

Killer thinks she would be pretty
With a scarf around her neck
Wash her hair, it seems so gritty
He had shampoo, the last he checked

How delightful, her little smile
Lips just short of a smirk
Killer entranced the whole while
He thinks this may really work

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
This was a collaboration with my FIL Geezer.
Editing stage: 

Comments

Sounds like a match made in............somewhere lol. This is very smooth for a joint work. Way to go guys.......stan

Geezer was the mastermind. He came up with the idea. I just put my Two cents in.

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

author comment

to work with someone of a like mind! Our styles are a little bit different, but we have a good grasp of what it takes to make our characters mesh. Carrie always comes up with something I can work with and she seems to have the knack for feeling which way to go. All in all, this is fun! ~ Gee

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Alot of fun. Our characters find ways to connect and Gee is always patient with my lack of meter.

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

author comment

doesn't detract much from the story and that is what is important. We can always work on the meter
after the story is told. This a workshop after all. ~ Gee

Please acknowledge critique and comments.
They are a vital part of our community!
Critique or comment today!

And yes we can always make revisions.

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

author comment

A great write and amazing not much blood around I shall have to send a message to Digit and tell him that a beach party is long overdue lol,
Take care both and well done,
Yours, Ian..

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Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

I need to read more. This is a stark, yet workable exposition. Now do something.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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Omg you two are quite the team as far as horror I look forward to reading more In fact was was looking for more to this poem keep it going guys it is just awesome Deliciously evil and bloody

Chrys
Let your mercy spill on all these burning hearts in hell(Leonard Cohen)

To put it crudely... the thing needs more bulk. We need a storyline and not just the introduction of the characters. It worked so well it would be a shame to let go just yet.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

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