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Mass Chanting

worse than synchronized swimming,
a crowd of nasally,
rhythm barren
ingenues and ingenos
bleating
hyperbolic sap and drivel
parading as saviors
cameras held high
archiving
forever
their inescapable foolery

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

I think you are condemning antifas, which is fair. They are a particularly nasty aspect of something good. Protest.
I could almost succumb to some sort of paranoia that antifas are set up to discredit genuine human rights and left-wing (an almost totally discredited term by those who fear it) politcal agendas.

You are a powerful poet, mate. Which makes it very important that you think and clarify what you say.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

thanks

I'm a little confused by your statement "which makes it very important that you think and clarify what you say"
I'm not sure what you mean. Are you asking for my political affiliations?
The "clarify" bit is self evident, but the "think " part of the statement eludes me.
I am a little thick at times, so nudge my noggin in the right direction if you don't mind

Anyway, thanks again for your response

Al

author comment

For you to describe your political alliances and thinking.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

If capitalism and corporations were abusing and oppressing me, I would be on your (political) side. But I don't have that experience. It and they provide goods and services that I use and enjoy and that enhance my life, also giving me job opportunities if I so require.

I am not, and never have been nor will ever be a "slave" to anyone, or anything, at any time
so I don't really have, or feel, the need to rebel or identify with any political entity at this point in my life and never have.

I am a staunch and devout individualist...don't really care too much about how others run their lives.

I live alone, answer to no one, am old (born 1945) and have more self rewarding things to do than trying to change a world that I have lived in and loved in and played in, and that did me no wrong.

I am though, still interested in human behavior, and am a "people watcher"
and the older I get the more baffling they become

Like mass chanting/ parading/ protesting (what?)and tantrum rioting.

that's it...not very profound, but that's how I see it
can we still be friends?

Al

author comment

Capitalism by its nature requires continual growth. We live on a finite planet. There is a very serious problem here.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

I can agree with your assessment of capitalism, but, again, I don't care about the future.
That is for you young'uns to deal with. I'm going out in peace and quiet.

there will always be future problems...even if you can foresee them, there is no guarantee that that will in any way, shape, or form, make things better. It's always a crap-shoot

Al

author comment

but I have nieces and nephews and great-nieces and nephews I feel a certain responsibility to.
I also think human beings are pretty neat and it would be a shame if we extincted ourselves.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

to capitalize, or not ...the question is important...but that one answer means continued existence and the other is annihilation is a little hyperbolic...n'est pas?

Al

author comment

it's about the only argument that gets any attention these days.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

I think it's a really great, short, hard hitting piece.
Love the synchronised swimming imagery, god, that activity alone makes me shudder.
You got it in one, summed the protesters up perfectly.
It's a gem.
Jx

------------
Remember we are a workshop site.
Don't forget to offer critique on poems you read.

thank you Jane

synchronized swimming! cringe, shudder, wince. gag, ...run
who thinks otherwise?
'tis an awful thing to witness
Oh! the humanity!

glad you "enjoyed" this piece

Al

author comment

Willow- Giles, do you know everything about everything?
Giles- No, synchronised swimming completely mystifies me.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

about the identical rubber hats the women in synchronised swimming groups from the '50s and '60s wore.
Some seemed to be covered in little rubber flowers........ very bizarre. Very Stepford Wives.
Shudder
Jx

------------
Remember we are a workshop site.
Don't forget to offer critique on poems you read.

And here I am thinking you meant extreme left wing democrats lol. But the truth of bewaring those who chant/march in lockstep to Any ideology come through clearly.......stan

(don't tell anyone, just our secret...your first assumption was correct,)
but your second observation also applies

thanks for responding

Al

author comment

[sighs]
One shouldn't ask if one is not prepared for any answer.

Now I feel compelled to argue. Not much, the first part informs the second.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

but am appalled by what I see some other theists do in the name of a loving god. Zealots of any kind are to be ignored or outlawed depending on how far their extremism goes.

Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

Did the word "Mass" steer you in this direction, or are you just expanding the idea beyond the political arena?

I know "zealot" describes more than just religious fanatics...so your point still stands

thank you for your response

Al

author comment

I felt the same argument you made could be applied to different ideas and groupings. I merely mentioned the one of greatest interest to me.

Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

Either to the left, which would once have been described as an 'infantile disorder' or the right who would could be described as ' a bunch of useful idiot apologists' - that leaves this poem, particularly well placed. Pithy and succinct - and going by the conversation above, I'd hazard a guess that technically speaking, you're a philosophical pessimist - not necessarily a bad thing, just an observation.

Good stuff, thanks,

Chris.

Chris Hall - Tasmania

Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.

...and the pendulum swings
I guess the cat's out of the bag, I am definitely not of the contemporary left-wing contingent.
As someone once said, "I (he) didn't leave the liberals, they left me (him)"

pessimist?...not really... ok...maybe!... just very wary of unintended consequences mucking up the best of intentions.

If I had a "side" I was on, I would not be afraid to shout about it, or advocate. I just cant
relate enough to either end of the spectrum to commit. I don't think the center exists anymore

glad to hear from you again. I have been gone from the site for over six months...I guess I have a low thresh hold for burnout

thanks for your impressions on this piece

later,

Al

author comment
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