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The mask.

And there you are spinning shining singing round and round you go oh how beautiful you glow shining like the stars dancing twinkling in their little light show your smile smile shine so bright in the night.
for in this world of darkness you are the only light showing me the path passed the wall of the enigma and towards the illustrious land of perfection.
But as beautiful as you are you wear the horrid mask of deception
That shoots the persuasive and marvelous feeling that defies the laws of god .
The burning feeling of lust that drives me towards the obscene actions that
I cannot reject myself from for I try and try and try but the feeling is to strong the chains are to overpowering .
For it’s strength increases every second pulling me closer and closer the feeling getting stronger and stronger. Until I can no longer Sheild myself from it . I finally jump into the pool of action then comes the cloud of darkness that covers over me and washes away all memory that lies within my maniacal mind . Finally when the light finally shines and my mind finally comes to
I then realize what I have done .
I then cry in agony and pain to god begging him to drain this curse that my body now bears but he doesn’t answer all he returns is silence. For once my mind found out that there was no answer it began to indulge itself into a mission to reconstruct or repair my sanity but it sadly didn’t succeed.

For once it heard the constant comments of the human populous those comments enacted as the hands of the sculptor and my mind was the clayed figure.
then this horrid human populous reached it’s hands above my Mind and sanity and started shaping my humane mind of sanity into this disfigured grotesque creature for those hands of humanity had not only strangled my sanity no no.
For they looked down at my mind and smiled demonically and raised its horrid humongous mallet of mass hysteria and mass destruction and slammed it sending it plummeting towards my subconscious and barbarically and cruelly shattered ,battered and beaten my humanity to its end for I now know that there is no end to this horrid feeling of ecstasy that my mind sadly and regrettably strives for and longs for. It’s like I’m in a burning desert of death and I finally see it the glorious yet maniacal fountain of lust.

Review Request (Intensity): 
Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Last few words: 
I am in high school
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

What a courageous piece of writing, I believe this is what we call prose in poetic terms. Very nice to meet you young man. I find the youngsters of today especially here at neopoet have so much more guts than I did when I was young to write this type of poetry.

I salute you, and a very warm welcome to neopoet.

Thank you...Teddy

Thank you

Hlm life without literature is a life without logic.

author comment

Hello and welcome to neopoet, Edward. Yes, yours is a prose poem. You have some small grammatical errors, but I'm sure you can easily fix them on your own.
This is powerful writing, I'm hypnotized by it. I'm wondering whether it's a personal experience. Sounds like some one with PSTD?
I'll return for another read, maybe I'll understand it better. Mystery is always part of poetry. You also have good imagery, leaves me thinking, sadly. Best, Gracy

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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

Hlm life without literature is a life without logic.

author comment
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