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Man in the Mirror

Submitted by gregwa8 on Sat, 2018-05-19 01:17

Society is a house of mirrors
But some mirrors distort

We try to help—
Or hurt—
Each other
With our reflecting

But we are all warped
In some way

Even when we
Think we see
Clearly

We shine
Like heavenly bodies
From a distance

Light refracted
Through space
And time

It is hard to tell
Who brings us
Closer

To who we are
And who we are meant
To be

Our friends
Or our enemies
Our heroes
Or the common man

But since we can’t
See ourselves
Without mirrors

We have to
Use the disparate shards
To make an image

We can learn to trust
To get us through the day

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

weirdelf

Mon, 2019-12-16 03:23

weirdelf's picture
Volunteer badge

Two resolutions I made were to keep an eye on the 'Undiscovered Work' list and to be more active with new members.

I was frankly astonished to find so many of your poems on the 'Undiscovered Work' list. You're a bloody fine poet, so why is this so? I Tracked your comments and found your feedback to others has dropped off, I seem to remember you giving caring, useful feedback to others, is there a reason why you have stopped?

I guarantee that increased critique will increase readership of your own works,
cheers

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

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