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Magic

Magic

Softer than a morning breeze
her lips caress my cheek
the scent of her so full and near
leaves me warm and weak

silken hair like summer rain
cascades around her face
eyes bluer than a bright lagoon
yet deep as distant space

gaze at mine with honest love
and I am deeply filled
with ecstacy so wild and free
it never can be stilled

we lie upon the new mown hay
entangled in our dreams
the August sky rolls by above
like ocean waves, it seems

I brush angelic lips with mine
and whisper softly now
words to tell her how I feel
but they seem trite somehow

she smiles at me and I am lost
in awe and bliss divine
for in that smile the truth shines clear
that she is really mine

C. Lon R. Bruso

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 

Comments

I can feel this...
its honest

Mr Esker!

I found this romantic peace pretty exotic, which would make the subject of the protagonist blush, yeah very potent magical stuff. The choice of words and rhymes makes it flow like perfume. Enjoyed it a lot.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

Perhaps if I had used liberal profanity or God-bashing this piece would have received more notice! LOL!!

author comment

She's a lucky girl, liked this a lot. Well written. Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

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